Best Clam Pizza Recipe | Tasting Table

This is the definitive guide to becoming a seasoned all-you-can-eat buffeter. If you would like to gain knowledge of each and every aspect that lay between you and getting the most fulfilling meal possible you have come to the right place. You will learn with specific techniques the dos and don’ts that every professional smorgasbord eater must adhere to. Within these tough economic times it is important to make sure our dollar stretches as far as possible. This surely will help the pocket book and keep your belly full. The sections covered are as follows:

• Types of Buffets
• Objective
• Preparation
• Location
• Pre-meal Setup
• Strategy
• Etiquette
• Exit Strategy and Post Game
• Disclaimer: This is for instructional purposes only and should not be adhered to by rational human beings. This is compiled from observations by the author and makes no claims of being 100% factual. Any action by the reader to follow suggestions is his or her own decision and any harm caused by said actions are the responsibility of the reader. Whether it be self-inflicted as in type 2 diabetes, heart disease or osteoporosis or by angry restaurant owners throwing you and your college buddies to the curb for eating all of their prime rib.

Being that this is all-inclusive some items may be considered satirical and some factual, due to this there may be conflicting points or seemly hypocritical statements, please keep that mind. Depending on one’s plan of attack on the buffet certain points will or will not be relevant.
If your health is no concern and being able to actually walk back and forth from your table to the buffet stations does not bother you then read on to learn the best, quickest way to find yourself in a motorized cart.
Types of Buffets Chinese – Located in any town with a population over 500 there will be a Super, Star, King, Garden Something or Rather Buffet. Most all will have sweet & sour soup, egg flower soup and wonton soup. You’ll find typical American-Chinese dishes such as lo-mein, sweet & sour chicken, egg rolls, pot stickers, broccoli beef, General Tso’s chicken and fried rice all loaded with exorbitant amounts of MSG. Most will have a small selection of “sushi” which is really just some vegetables and imitation crab meat wrapped in seaweed and rice. To cater to the kids you’ll usually find French fries, pizza, macaroni & cheese, onion rings or spaghetti. The desserts are airy light “cakes” of chocolate, coconut or vanilla along with almond cookies and baked Chinese cookies. Oddly these will have absolutely no weight or sustenance yet will still add to your waistline. Jell-O is a staple as well as bananas covered in some strange strawberry sauce. They will typically have a soft serve ice cream machine (working or not). The more upscale ones will have shrimp, crab legs and possibly a Mongolian BBQ station.
Sushi – These are usually fairly expensive and come in two varieties. The first being a regular sushi restaurant that offers an all-you-can-eat sushi option which is made to order. You normally are allowed 2 to 3 orders at a time and once finished you’ll be allowed to order more. They will typically be very vocal about any sharing and any leftover rolls. There is a high probability that they will charge you for any rolls not consumed or may not allow you to order more until you’ve eaten what has already been made. They are notoriously stingy and keep a watchful eye. Some diners have been known to employ the shelter of salads or miso soups to hide leftover sushi pieces.
The second type is set up as a regular buffet and has many varieties of sushi (15-30 different selections) along with other Japanese and Chinese dishes. They will usually have different salads, miso soup, sweet & sour soup, crab legs, shrimp, varieties of fish, lo-mein, fried rice, sweet & sour chicken, pot stickers, egg rolls, pork spare ribs, tempura, calamari, udon and tofu dishes. The desserts will be tiny individually prepared portions of American cakes and tarts but will not necessary taste like their full baked counterpart. There will also be a few “Japanese” desserts which will include miso, green tea or tofu as ingredients.
American – There are several large chains across the nation serving American buffet. You may have seen one of the following: HomeTown Buffet, Old Country Buffet, Ryan’s Buffet, Golden Corral or Ponderrosa. There are also a slew of smaller chains throughout the states. Here you’ll find a bevy of fried foods including fried chicken, fried shrimp, French fries, onion rings, fried fish, chicken nuggets, different fried vegetables and chicken wings. You can normally find overcooked steak, salty sausage and ham, crispy “pizza”, rubbery hot dogs & hamburgers, watery spaghetti and every type of picnic (pasta, potato, broccoli) salad under the sun. The desserts will be a range of puddings, stale cakes and bland pies along with vanilla and chocolate soft serve ice cream.
Mega – Mostly found within casinos and abundant in Las Vegas, the mega or supper buffet has hundreds of items from many different cuisines. The football field size dining rooms at least make you feel as if you’re burning off some calories as you walk back and forth from your table to the buffet. You will be able to load a plate with fried chicken, pizza, moo shu pork, pad thai and tacos that would make the International Olympic Committee truly proud. Trying to experience every dish that you would like to here can take an entire evening and for most is not possible due to stomach storage constraints. The desserts will range from cheesecake, baklava, crème brule, chocolate layer cake, éclairs, to pie, pudding and gelato. These are going to be the more expensive of all the buffets but the quality and selection will be the highest as well.
Another variety of the mega buffet is the seafood buffet, more popular along the Atlantic coast that will include every possible variety of seafood from clam chowder, clams, lobster, salmon, crab cakes, clam cakes, trout, crawfish, baked shrimp, fried shrimp, coconut shrimp, oysters, baked shrimp, shrimp scampi, stuffed clams and scallops.
Pizza – Broken down into two types. One being your local pizza place that will offer up a lunch time buffet with a few different varieties rotating but will of course include cheese, pepperoni and Hawaiian. There will sometimes be a small salad bar that will have droopy lettuce, olives, chickpeas, onions, pepperoncinis, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes and you’re sure to find Ranch, Thousand Island and blue cheese dressings. The other type of pizza buffet is an actual buffet which will have a variety of tossed salads, roughly a dozen different pizzas, possibly pasta and a selection of dessert pizzas. These are normally extremely cheap but the pizza is normally sub-standard.
Salad/Soup Bar – This can be found in any type of restaurant almost as an afterthought. It will include two soups, either chicken noodle or New England clam chowder, limp iceberg lettuce, cherry tomatoes, olives, shredded cheese, peas, carrots, cauliflower, beets, bacon bits, Ranch, Thousand Island, Honey Mustard and blue cheese dressings. You’ll also find warm cottage cheese and syrupy peach slices.
There is however a few higher end salad buffets that have a wide variety of tossed salad, fresh fruits, vegetables, soups, pasta, pizza and breads. The main stipulation of these buffets is the mysterious absence of protein in the dishes. You’ll find a disturbing lack of chicken in the Asian chicken salad or clams in the New England clam chowder. The meat sauce may be your best bet for protein as you can scoop out the meat pieces individually. Bacon bits and cheese can also be another form of protein. The pizza will have roughly 2.5 pieces of pepperoni per slice.
Ethnic – This will normally be a lunch only buffet and includes your various Indian, Thai and Mexican restaurants. This is a great place to get really good food at really good prices as it will be coming from a kitchen that specializes in that cuisine. The buffet will normally be setup as a temporary serving station in the dining room. The selection will be small but will include a few appetizer type dishes and several entrees. Dessert is not implicit here but can sometimes be offered, if so it will normally only be one or two options.
A sub-style of this would be the Brazilian (churrascaria) dinner. This will normally include a lavish salad bar with lettuce, vegetables, cheeses, smoked and cured meats and various dressings. The staple of this style is the practically endless meats served table-side ranging from sirlon, beef ribs, grilled chicken, various sausages, leg of lamb, lamb chops, pork tenderloin to pork ribs. There may be a small amount of side dishes available as well such as polenta or mashed potatoes. This is a meat lovers dream as there are typically a dozen or more varieties to choose from.
Occasional – These will be found at weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, memorials, birthdays, showers, grand openings, business gatherings, potlucks, holiday parties and can include a wide variety of foods and cuisines. Depending on the event and the group involved the selection and quality of food can range from pitiful to exquisite.
Breakfast/Brunch – Many hotels will offer Sunday brunches. These will include all of your typical breakfast dishes. You can get made to order omelets, scrambled eggs, waffles, pancakes, muffins, breads, bagels, cold cereal, oatmeal, cream of wheat, granola, fruit, French toast, bacon, sausage, ham, potatoes and hash browns. Depending on the size and scope you may find shrimp, steak and other premium items. These will often be offered on special days such as Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Easter.
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