I posted this before. But being a grey and rainy Corona weekend in January I was feeling nostalgic and decided to refine the details a bit and add in an album of images.
I would quite like to go back and do some more tours in the passes and valleys around Vals, such as a multi-day hike through to Olivone.
Looking at my map of my travels around Switzerland I noticed a large hole in the south-east, and decided to fill it. So I headed off for the San Bernardino pass and the area around Splügen for a 4 day adventure.
I was especially happy to do this as I don’t spend enough time in Graubünden. The region has a raw/rough rugged feel to the mountains that you just don’t get in the more popular areas like the Jungfrau region. The enormity of them feels just so much greater, especially the Glarus Thrust area which is just giant raw lumps of rock.
I did this during 22nd-25th of August 2019. Mid August is perfect for these high places. Flowers are out and the high meadows are as green as they are going to get. I passed a few patches of remaining snow high up, but none on the actual path so it didn’t cause a problem.

• Imgur album

--- Basic Overview ---
Day 1

• Train to Bellinzona (3hrs), Postbus to San Bernardino (1hr).
  
• Hike to Pian Lumbrif, Cassina da Vignum and back to San Bernardino (6.8km, 500m+, 500m-).
  
• Postbus over the pass to Splügen (1hr).
  
• Overnight in Splügen. Hotel Piz Tambo.
  

Day 2

• Hike from Splügen to Thalkirch via Seiferberg (15km, 1000m+, 900m-, est 5hrs).
  
• Bus/train/bus back to Splügen via Chur (2.5hrs).
  
• Overnight in Splügen. Hotel Piz Tambo.
  

Day 3

• Postbus to Hinterrhein (10 mins).
  
• Hike to Vals via Valserberg and Uf der Matta following Route 35 (15km, 1000m+,1300m-, est 6hrs).
  
• Thermal baths at hotel 7132. (80CHF full price, discounted to 45CHF if you stay in the area overnight)
  
• Overnight in Vals. Schynder B&B.
  

Day 4

• Postbus to ‘Vals, Zervreila’ (20mins).
  
• Short walk along the Zervreilasee (4km, 150m+, 150m-).
  
• Bus/train/train/train home via Postbus from ‘Vals, Zervreila’ down to the station at Ilanz (1hr13min), train to Chur (38mins), train to Zürich (1hr14min), train to Solothurn (50mins)
  

--- Day 1: Home to Splügen via the San Bernardino ---
Train to Bellinzona
This is a route I know well and always enjoy taking. Though the Luzern - Brunnen section just seems to get slower everytime I take it, it is very scenic at least even with the base tunnel.
Bellinzona
It is just a gentle 5-10 minute walk from the station into the center of the small but beautiful old town. I just came to grab a bit of scenic lunch with the 40 minutes I had before the bus onwards, but it is worth spending more time to also walk up the hill and see the 3 castles and fortifications that dominate the city.
I forgot what little Italian I knew, and stammered out something that was possibly a mix of French and Spanish (not that I speak much of either). It did the job at least.
Bus ride
This was the first bit of new territory for me. The ride did not disappoint as the bus turned off into a beautiful valley and then started to climb. Especially as this was in a doubledecker yellow Postbus which was rather novel (plus getting the front seat the top for the view). Another novelty is that the bus goes from Bellinzona to Chur which at about 115km covers a good chunk of the length of Switzerland.
San Bernardino
The village has a few nice buildings left over from the olden days, but mostly feels like it exists purely to be a ski resort. It is one of the few places with ugly towers for mass accommodation of ski tourists that I have seen in Switzerland. Normally they are much better at making the infrastructure fit in a bit better.
I would use the village as the start/end point for a few passes in the area that look interesting, but I wouldn’t want to hang out in the village for more than the 10 minutes that I did already.
My original plan had been to check out the lakes by the village, but as we got closer I saw how close to the road they were and that they didn’t look that special. I almost just stayed on the bus, but decided I was spending enough time in Splügen over the next day or two anyway. So I went with the idea of going for a hike and catching the bus 3 hours later.
Hike
I looked at the hiking route signpost and picked Pian Lumbrif purely because it seemed the path led away from the road and at 1 hour it fit my timeframe.
It was well worth it. The initial climb through some forest was quite steep (but did include a nice waterfall) but then I emerged onto an open meadow with fantastic views all around (and a few power pylons at the lower heights). I had the place to myself, and following the signs a bit further to Cassina da Vignum it took me into a valley filled with streams and waterfalls. I could have powered on through this valley and down to Nufenen, but that would have been quite a way (15km, +/- 1000m) and I hadn’t planned to do anything quite so extreme that day. So I returned to San Bernardino via an alternate route down.
Pass bus
I got back into San Bernadino just in time for the next Postbus over the pass. You can also take the bus that goes through the tunnel straight out of the village through to the next valley which is much quicker (17 mins rather than 53) and runs more frequently, but is of course far less scenic.
The views back down the valley were well worth going over the pass. The top itself was not so special being a bit barren and grim (often the case with such pass roads). Going over a pass or similar road with a Postbus is always impressive just to see the driver handle the tight hairpins with a full size bus; often whilst chatting with the passengers.
Splügen
Often called one of the most beautiful villages in Switzerland. It is very apparent why. It will only take 15 minutes to see the whole place, but it was a beautiful spot to be based out of for a few days.
It has a good location with access to a number of hikes and passes around it. Transport connections are good by car, and decent enough by bus being on the Bellinzona-Chur line. It has a supermarket, bakery, cheese shop, a few restaurants, tourist info, and even a little hut in the center which sells books on an honesty system. Plus of course plenty of honesty-box farm shops around.
It had a few tourists like any mountain village, but it seemed to only be a few Swiss or Italian people. Nothing like the hoards you see in places like Interlaken.
I stayed at the Hotel Piz Tambo which was right in the center and was a nice place with friendly staff.
I had a good meal of Capuns at the hotel, and then took a 20 or so minute wander along the road through meadows to the ruins of the castle to take in the sky during sunset. (going for an evening or night walk around the village is always a favourite when I am in the Alps - especially when it is snowy).
--- Day 2: Over the Seiferbergpass to Thalkirch and back---
My original idea was something with the Splügenpass to the Italian border, but being a road pass I didn’t feel it would be that nice (and I couldn’t find any evidence of nice views with a google image search). I then thought of nearby Juf, the highest permanently inhabited village in Europe (I have since visited there). But looking at a hiking map I was then tempted by the hiking route climbing right out of Splügen, over a roadless pass and into the next valley - which sounded like a nice way to stick with my theme of exploring some new areas. At the slight cost of the return route being a rather roundabout route requiring a bus, a train, then another bus (2.5hrs).
The hike
This was a very easy route to follow (mainly as there are not many other paths in the area), simply following the signs for Safierberg and Turrahus the whole way. The path was well maintained and there were no rocky and awkward sections.
I only saw a few other people on the pass hike, and not many more in the valley on the far side. There were far more marmots than people along the way.
The initial climb was a bastard, from zero to steep even as you are leaving the village - but once you reach the meadows it starts to even out a bit and despite being a climb all the way is never that steep again.
The landscape is quite barren being above the treeline and in mountains that felt more vast than towering. Still beautiful, but other than the waterfalls you never get the same feel in photos (it always looks a bit too sad and details like flowers tend to be lost).
I got an early start heading off at 8am to try and get the 1330 bus back from Thalkirch rather waiting until 1530 when I would be hitting rush hour around Chur. The advantage of getting up and off early is that you see so many marmots in the morning. I was almost tripping over them at one point.
I had lunch at the Berggasthaus Turrahus in Thalkirch. It was one of the most relaxed places I have been to, on asking for a coffee and to pay the landlord decided to just leave the wallet full of cash for the restaurant on the table with me whilst he disappeared inside to get the coffee. Another highlight was a lady who turned up with her dog and goat on leads. The view was nice too.
There is a bus stop by the Gasthaus ‘Thalkirch, Turrahus’ that takes you down to the station at ‘Versam-Safien’ where you can get a train to Chur for further connections. It only runs every 2 hours, but it is amazing that such a route is even maintained (and year round too).
Valleys are often wide and flat at the top before narrowing down to a tight gorge. This was really the case here, and this made the bus ride down incredible. A full-size bus going down a single lane road with a sheer drop on one side and a towering cliff on the other. Leaving the steep gorge we emerged to a fantastic mountain view of the giant Segnes fault region, before descending down into the Rhine Gorge to the train station at Versam-Safien. It is one the most memorable rides I have had in Switzerland it is amazing that this valley and ride isn’t better known. I would not want to be the driver on that route in icy winter conditions.
What is better known is the Glacier express that was waiting at the station for my coming train to be out of the way. It is was sat in the full sun with the people onboard looking rather hot and bored, with still almost half of the journey left to go. I never understand why people find that appealing….
The rest of the ride home through the Rhine Gorge to Chur and then through various valleys by bus back to Splügen was long but beautiful. I would have been happy just doing that ride even without the hike.
--- Day 3: Over the pass to Vals ---
To Vals via the Valserbergpass
I took the Postbus 10 minutes up the valley to Hinterrhein and followed the footpath signs for Vals via hiking Route 35.
The next stage on Route 35 goes from Vals to Thalkirch so I could have stayed in Thalkirch and saved on commuting times if I had planned ahead a bit more, but it was still worth the travel time for the ride down the valley and seeing more new areas.
This had a much gentler start than the previous day, but was still uphill all the way until the pass. The path passed through forest and then meadows, however being that you just climbed one big hillside the views didn’t change much other than the buildings below getting smaller.
As I climbed I could see cloud/fog around where the pass would be which was making me a bit anxious. Stumbling around alone on unknown mountains is not something I want to be doing. I was considering that I might need to double back down to Hinterrhein and take a series of buses and trains to get to Vals the long way. This wasn’t helped by the description for the route warning that one section was very risky being narrow and steep (in the end I didn’t even realise that it was narrow and steep when I did it).
In the end I got to the Valserbärgpass and found that the fog was sweeping about but mostly just above it, so I could see clearly down the valley beyond and where I was going (which made me much happier). Still I descended the first section fairly quickly just to be safe (and also the wind at the top was bloody cold). The initial descent was rocky, but not too bad in terms of scree or the risk of slipping on loose rocks.
Entering the high grassy meadows I actually got lost for a few minutes as crossed a stream I followed markers that led me on what seems to have been a former route and found there wasn’t any clear track or markers. Backtracking a few minutes and checking my maps with GPS allowed me to quickly find the current route. A very rare event in the Swiss hiking network.
After you reach the first farm you get a choice of dropping straight down to the valley floor to reach Vals via a small road, or continuing along the meadows. I stuck with the meadow route (sign posted by Route 35 and “Uf der Matta”). This was a bit longer and harder, but well worth it for the views about the area. It is also the section with the warning of “Please note: narrow path over steep terrain between Wallatsch and Tschifera; sure-footedness required.” which seemed a bit over the top.
As I got towards Vals the weather got sunnier and clearer (noticeably the pass far above and behind me was now clear of all cloud….)
Again I hardly saw anybody else. I passed 2 people from Hinterrhein to the outer hamlets of Vals, and then only a few more on the last section into Vals.
Vals
A nice and pretty, if not spectacular, village. It is quite large considering its remote location and what it has to offer. There are not many options: the thermal baths, a cable car, and the road/bus to the dam at Zervreila. Otherwise there is lots of mountainside in every direction - but you better be fit.
This was the most touristic spot of the tour. But nothing on the grand scheme of things, and mostly it just seemed to be other Swiss people (going by the car license plates) other than a few Americans I overheard. Going by the visiting cars it is a popular spot for rich people (though that might just be for the baths). For a Saturday in August it seemed to be very quiet.
Vals is home to the Villa Vals which is often posted as being Hobbit-hole like and looks like it is sat by itself (which really isn’t the case).
Surprisingly Vals was bombed by the allies right at the end of WW2 (it is only 15km in a straight line from Italy but can’t have looked like it would pose much of a threat).
I stayed at the Schynder B&B. Which was less a B&B as you might expect and more a self contained bed-sit type miniflat with a cafe over the road that did breakfast. It was modern and comfy, had a nice mountain view. And it was right by the thermal baths which my legs really appreciated.
Baths.
7132 Therme Website.
This was expensive, but rather fancy and very nice. Staying in Vals I got a discount (check in first before going to the baths). It seemed worth the price either way to rest my legs after two days of fairly intense hiking.
The lady at the front desk was surprisingly very friendly despite my appearance. I was at full long messy hair, messy beard, and icky from the hike. I would have phoned the police if I had seen me (or even caught my reflection in the mirror)
The baths had a good mix of pools of various temperatures and a steam room (but not a proper wood sauna).
The only bit not to like (other than the price) was the number of couples who seemed able to spend hours holding each other staring into each others eyes. Which made entering an otherwise empty pool room feel like some awkward invasion of privacy.
Evening
Dinner at the Gasthaus Edelweiss. Pizokels (a local food) with a fantastic view of the village center and mountains. Followed by another walk out the village and a little up the valley side to watch the light fade.
The night was made a little bit more interesting when I woke up at 2am to find my finger massively swollen. It had been stung by a bee the week before without any problems at the time, but something in the baths must have triggered an inflammation in the sting. Lying sleeplessly at night in a tiny remote village wondering if you are going to have to phone distant medical help isn’t much fun. Nothing fell off in the end at least.
--- Day 4: to Zervreila and then home ---
I caught the Postbus to ‘Vals, Zervreila’. This was a fantastic 20 minute ride from the village on a narrow road that passes through a waterfall lined gorge.
The bus/road takes you to the mountain restaurant at the side of the dam. Normally I don’t like reservoir lakes as they always feel too fake with the dead region around the changing waterline, but this was stunning (the water was seemingly at the maximum level). The spot was utterly stunning and felt so remote.
You can walk across the dam (which is high but not as impressive as the “Goldeneye” Verzasca dam in Ticino) which gives you a good view, especially of the Zervreilahorn which seen from the angle of the dam is like a mini Matterhorn. Though nowhere near as big, the prominence and point (from the dam angle anyway) really catch the eye. The area had a hell of a lot of sheep. Around the dam there was a constant symphony of baaing.
I walked along the path to a quiet point about 10-15 minutes beyond the final car park. The ground started to drop away and the view was open, so I sat by the side of the path and just admired the view for a while before wandering back to catch the bus.
With more time I would carry on around the lake for lunch at the mountain house. Or with a week you could do a really good remote back valley tour in the area.
Bus ride to Ilanz
Again like with the ride down from Thalkirch this was long (1hr 7mins) but very beautiful, with some really impressive gorges and vistas. If you look at a map of the hiking routes in Switzerland you will see that Vals is very oddy not connected via footpath to the rest of the country unless you go via a high pass. Riding down the valley it is apparent why. It is amazing that people live normal lives there now, nevermind in the past.
From Ilanz it was a long ride home with changes at Chur and Zürich. This was of course still a beautiful ride, with the Ilanz section passing through the Rhine gorge (again) and the section from Chur going past the Walensee and Zürichsee.

so I am quite new to this sub, but I was scrolling thru and saw this post by u/cheapfoolscap on TJC so I thought maybe I can also share my experience in TJC, both the bad and the good. Feel free to ask anything by replying, or u can dm me.
this post is quite long but i did some signposting so hopefully its better
I'm a J1 (2020) student in TJC, taking PCME. I came from IP so this is from 5 yrs of experience haha
My personal thoughts (differs for everyone but heres mine):
The best part about TJC is probably the people. Everyone is in general nice and approachable. Absolutely no bullying or discrimination/xenophobia. Most of the teachers are also helpful and try their best to help. You'll usually do well or ok in TJC as long as u put in enough work. But the students call it TJail for a reason. you'll hear a lot of complaining from the people here. In short the school and some departments makes terrible decisions that no one likes, and stresses us out. some parts of tjc look so worn down like it has not been fixed since 1977. a lot of good teachers are also leaving the school. for legal reasons i cant list specifics but yeah.
Here's a more unbiased overview of everything:
TJC facilities, also adding on to the post from cheapfoolscap:

1. In general, tjc hasnt rlly changed facility wise for 5 years, save for that one basketball court they built, ^{sometimes i wonder where the school budget is going}. some of the rooms, esp the classrooms, container classes and theaterette will look a bit... worn down. you'll see a bit of vandalism here n there, broken chair broken table, dirty floor. you can see cockroaches, lizards, millipedes here but it's not a common occurence. can't rlly blame them for not fixing all the stuff cuz tj is rebuilding in 2022, but it might be surprising to u because frm outside the school rlly doesn't look that bad.
2. Canteen: canteen food is... depends on ur preference lah, but u can get tired of it. we have a western stall, fruit juice stall, drinks + snack stall, japanese stall, korean stall, malay stall, cai fan stall. the korean stall sells very nice mushrooms
3. Cafe: the cafe is probably one of the nicer looking locations in tjc. the food in my honest opinion is meh, and their food quality went down slightly over the years. also the food costs more
4. Aircon: air con is... not a guarantee. originally, the rule was that the air con will only be turned on at 9.30am/10.30am for regular classes. but recently with covid and everything we are technically not supposed to turn it on for a full class.
5. Physical activities: if u like physical activities then tj has quite a bit of facilities. we have very big rock wall, adventure tower, zipline, bball court, tennis court, volleyball court. sadly u may not get to touch the rock wall n adventure tower n zipline in j1.
6. Printing shop: the school has a printing shop called ZAP. it can print a3, color, b&w, photocopy n pretty much anything. it used to be run by a very nice elderly couple (^{which the school sadly replaced :(}), but is now run by a few aunties. however the printing service is not very reliable, smtimes the printers break down n the queues are smtimes vv long (esp when 1 whole cohort is printing the same assignment last minute).
7. Bookshop: the school has like a mini popular. they accept popular card. sells stationery, school uni and stuff.
8. Counselling: the school also has some counselling service, like career guidance (ECG), normal counselling. never visited either, but i heard mixed reviews about both.

TJC culture

1. Fitting in: In TJC, as long as youre nice, youre good. generally no bullying happens here, the people are all very nice (really) n chill, so as long as youre helpful, do ur part in grp work, nice, u shld find ur place here. dw about making friends also, its honestly quite easy here.
2. IP vs JAE, elitism and favoritism: Among students, no one really cares if ur from IP or JAE, or care abt ur L1R5. IP kids wont go n make distinctions between jae and ip, after all we're all from the same school now. while the IP kids will usually already have their set friend groups and people they hang out with, alot of us are still very open to making new friends, knowing new people etc. A very small number of teachers will show favoritism to IP kids though, some are more blatant abt it than others. Academically, there will not be much disparity between JAE and IP. In general both cohorts have the same ability to do extremely well or fail everything, it really depends on how hard u work. so dont stress that youll be "dumber" than ur ip counterparts.
3. Competitiveness: Not competitive except for a small portion. 90% of the school focus on doing well themselves, rather than comparing too much to other people n trying to be "the best". there are competitive people who are aiming for top scorer n stuff, but in general tjc is one of the less competitive jcs out there. we are less competitive than vjc if that matters
4. Mass dance and cheering: Mass dance n cheering are a major part of TJ culture. some people find it annoying, some don't, but basically for every school event you'll have to do them.
5. Social Hierachy: Doesn't exist here.
6. Rules: School has rules ofc. The normal ones like neat uniform, no piercing other than ear, neat hair n stuff. TJC has a system of demerit points, u start at 100 every year, and they cut away at ur points as u break sch rules (latecoming etc), and u will have to go for detention. Since there's covid and theres no morning assembly, theres no more uniform check n so enforcement of rules is a bit less strict now. however, some teachers are more anal abt the rules and will give u demerit points for everything.
7. Relationships/Sexual Orientation: TJC people r generally vry open minded, so if u r scared that u will get judged or discriminated against for being lgbtq+, dw abt it cuz u won't. relationships are not uncommon, though try not to flaunt it too much bc some people from school administration (Principal) strongly discourage BGR n might intervene.
8. TJC teachers: They are generally very helpful and genuinely want to help u do well. Some are more likeable than others. Some have different teaching styles that may or may not work for u. Some are however, really not good and very unlikeable, and will make your experience very unpleasant. You may want to check with ur seniors or ip friends on which ones to avoid.
9. TJC administrative body: Honestly, they are very out of touch with the student body. sometimes makes dumb decisions that no one asked for.

Studying @ TJC:

1. Workload: Differs per subject, but if youre taking 4H2 expect quite a bit. Usually u r given 2 day deadlines (chemistry tutorial, math tutorial), or a week (econs essays, csq). it can get overwhelming, cuz some subjects will introduce new concepts and be more confusing (esp physics and chem). u will definitely need to take special care of ur mental health and work very hard.
2. Facilities: There's the library n cafe, or under lecture theatre. Plenty of spots to sit and study.
3. Opportunities: TJC does have programs that you can sign up for, as well as H3 subject options in JC 2. however, unless ur doing reasonably well in school, u wont get in. the school quite frankly doesnt offer u any external learning opportunities if u do badly academically.
4. Promotion criteria and retaining: In general, it is quite hard to get retained in TJC. you'll have to do very, very badly, like straight Us and Ss. to promote ull need 2H2 and 1H1 subject passes (E grade).

In conclusion, i wouldnt go as far as to say "avoid tj", but youll have to weigh the pros and cons if ur planning to come here. i personally made a lot of good friends and learnt new stuff, even though my experience at tjc isnt perfect. if u want a less competitive environment with nice people that can still help u get good results, then tjc might be the school for you.
I don't want this post to be too long so i'll stop here, but if u wanna ask any specific questions then feel free
edit: help it says 2 comments but i cant see anything. so if u want can dm me the qns instead

The Legacy of Man: Empire Rising

First Prev
The great demel city of Danuz Kazra was ancient. As indicated by the meticulous history books within demel schools, Danuz Kazra was one of the first cities founded after the Sundering. While the event itself has different years associated to it depending on who you talk to, the general consensus is that it started roughly two thousand years ago. Many major events of that time period are the defeat of the Redrak Insurrection and the Great Daemon War.
The roads within Danuz Kazra was laid out with perfect demel precision, made with the highest quality stone. The buildings themselves were poured and molded with Liquistone, a fantastic material that drove the redraks into such envy, they arrogantly declared themselves the original inventors. Which was understandable to some degree. It was like mud during shaping, yet can withstand a catapault after drying. Because of this, the buildings also enjoyed excellent demel craftsmanship, albeit without the aesthetics that the aemel obsess with.
Near the city limits, where it straddled the boundaries of the mountain that looms over it, lies the city's main economic power. A rich vein of iron. While the other mel races are capable of refining iron into steel, only the demel possess the secrets and know-how to create the purest, strongest steel. Quality and precision. The hallmarks of a demel product.
Deep within the mine, its tunnels supported by Liquistone columns and illuminated by Magistones, the slaves were at work. None of them were mel folk, absolutely not. They did not deserve such demeaning, humiliating and back-breaking existence. No, these were draks. Most of them were born into such a life, with a few groups being recent acquisitions from the rebels that the wamel would periodically collect.
The demel Supervisor strode through the tunnels, his displeased gaze scanning the lines of ragged draks digging away at the earth with their pickaxes. On watch for any signs of disobedience. Ideally, they know their place. Before they ever set foot for work, they are put through a rigorous and thorough process of ensuring they acquire obedience. The thick web of scars upon their backs is a rite of passage for them, and the most obvious.
And if he even thinks there's a thought of defiance within them, all he needs to do is let out a quick whistle and guards stationed across the tunnels will immediately arrive and crush it. There is no compromise. If they want to avoid punishment and re-education, they must work and convince the Supervisor there is no problem.
That was the case, of course, until he rounded a corner and spotted a group of draks huddled around a segment of the tunnel. In a flash of mixed annoyance and anticipation, he readied himself and marched forward.
When he was close, his voice boomed with authority, yet dripped with malice, "What's going on here?"
Instantly, the filthy, ragged mess of the crowd split apart, cowering before him and afraid to speak. As they did, the Supervisor saw a hint of the reason. On the ground was a drak, curled up slightly with a deep, exhausted cough. Sighing, the Supervisor believed it was just another slave too weak to handle honest labor when a glint caught his eye. Stepping through the crowd, who backed away even further, he found the source of the glint.
Magistone. The earth around it did not possess the shades of brown, but instead, a multitude of colors. Wisps of magic energy danced about the rough hunk of jewel-like stone. The Supervisor now knew what was going on. A slave had stumbled onto the Magistone. No doubt in its ignorance, it remained in close proximity, where it proceeded to succumb to the powerful, raw energies of Magistone. The demel cast a glance to the sickly slave on the ground, now noticing a damp spot next to it that indicated vomit.
So far, this particular slave is just suffering from magic poisoning, and not some kind of mutation. By the looks of it, it's rather severe.
Which also reminded the Supervisor. Where are those damn wamel and the new shipment of workers? He's getting rather tired of wasting time and resources coddling the labor force.
"Alright you lot, looks like you get an early day off." The Supervisor sighed, then pointed to the collapsed worker. "Go ahead and bring him along too, I don't want any good ore scattered around because one of you tripped over him. Tomorrow, you should have proper gear to mine out this Magistone deposit. In addition, report whether he lives or dies."
Without a word, the slaves scooped up their ill companion and proceeded to leave, showing fearful hesitancy as they passed by the guards.
The Supervisor, minding his distance, looked more closely at the Magistone. It doesn't appear to be its own individual volume of rock. By how its edges sink into the earth, it's more likely this is a real deposit. The question is, how much Magistone is there? He'll need to send out a Prospecting team to investigate.
Oh...as well as filing a requisition order for the suits designed to protect against the unrefined Magistone's dangerous release of raw magic. Let's see how today fares. Maybe he'll remember...maybe not. There's always more slaves to find.
Denasas. Governor's District.
Derek can't remember the last time he walked through a busy urban area. He's visited Seattle and Portland before, but those were a while ago. Before the world-ending explosion, that is.
But here? He feels as though Denasas was...bigger. Most likely because there's no clear roads designed for cars or trucks. There are roads, but they're not as wide, most likely meant to handle those odd magic-powered bikes as well as people getting from side of the town to the other. Or is it city now, considering the scale of this new world?
It sure felt like a city, disregarding total population. He expected to find a sprawling mass of buildings, but instead, after passing through the gate, he discovered multi-story buildings. Not just two or three, but those with four or more floors. Derek couldn't help but take in the sights everywhere. The sheer amount of people packing the streets and sidewalks, those dotting the windows of various buildings and the large crowds within popular locations. Probably restaurants or some kind of cafe.
After a time, he felt himself wondering when they would arrive at a major street or avenue, faintly recalling how he would orient himself within the two cities he remember. But it was all essentially the same. Very tightly packed, since cars and telecommuting aren't a thing, and an incredibly dense sea of redrak people all going their myriad ways and doing some part of their lives.
That all stopped when they arrived at the Governor's District. Passing through a tall gate manned by guards similar to Scarface's legion, it opened up to a rather beautiful scene. A square-ish courtyard with a massive fountain dominating the center. Four different stone paths forming a crosswalk that met at the fountain, accentuated with perfectly clear water underneath them. Finished with a wall carrying vines and greenery growing along the slabs of what must be concrete.
"Here we are, Derek." Splinter said, eyes constantly darting along the scene. "Before we go ahead, let's go over how you introduce yourself as well as general rules when talking with the patricians."
"Why are we here though?" Derek asked with a shrug. "I thought we were going full speed towards Ironpeaks? To get to Albert and prepare for the Swebians?"
"That's what we're doing." Splinter nodded. "During the brief period of time where we're gathering food and supplies for the travel, we need to envigorate the people. Motivate them. And what better way than telling them that not only are the Three Hero-Gods returning, but with the long-lost Fourth with them as well?"
"I think we'll take care of that once we get an army together and march towards the Swebians." Derek shrugged again. "I mean, I get the feeling it's been quite a while since Italy, or whatever it's called now, has seen much action. The moment somebody sees a massive army, led by all four of us, that's going to get people talking."
"That's...true, but-"
"You mean by me." Scarface interrupted the redrak assassin with a scowl. "Albert's not a fighter, Splinter does better in the shadows, and I am not allowing you anywhere near combat, Derek."
"I'm not saying I'll be at the frontlines, dude." Derek jumped a little then raised up his hands defensively. "Just, I don't know, deck me out in serious armor, give me a guard and I'll try and give uplifting speeches."
"No, you're staying where it's safe." Scarface scowled deeper. "And that's Ironpeaks."
"I never did politics back when I was a human, Scarface." Derek began with an annoyed tone. "But even I know that's not a good image to build up. An emperor who hides away in his palace when war comes? Letting everything get done by his underlings? At the very least, I have to look like I'm doing something personally."
"Only the hamel thinks rulers need to be an all-mighty leader." Scarface sighed in exasperation. "Not with us. As long as you're not corrupt or prioritizing parties and balls over ruling the empire, you're not going to get any complaints. And that's a promise."
"Splinter?" Derek asked suspiciously.
"He's right." Splinter answered. "Well, partially. It's not just the hamel, but the mel-folk consider it cowardice for their leaders not to take part when war arrives. We believe it's common-sense. Let the soldiers and officers handle war."
"Exactly as he said it." Scarface said firmly with his arms crossed. "Let me handle fighting the Swebians. Let Splinter handle gathering information and taking out key targets. You focus on uniting and leading the redraks."
"I...okay." Derek muttered as he struggled to reconcile what he was told with what he expected of this world, idly resting his fingers against the sides of his head. "So...back to the governor here. Are we talking to him now or later?"
"Ultimately, it's your decision, sir." Splinter said. "You're the Emperor now. Just need to let the people know of it."
"I...still don't know if it's that simple." Derek sighed as he scratched his neck. "Like...are you sure that the moment we publicly declare my rule, nobody is going to reject it and start some kind of civil war? Cause problems and shit?"
"Now here's a promise of my own." Splinter stated with a darker tone. "There won't be any problems. The only way you stop being Emperor is if either all of us are dead, or you yourself decide you don't want to do it anymore."
"Oh, that's..." Derek replied, unsure how to respond. "I mean, I'm glad you guys will help me whenever possible, but...we're basically going to install me as ruler over an entire people. Aren't there any confirmation processes or some kind of proving method or whatever that'll tell us if I truly am capable of doing this?"
"...not really, to be honest." Scarface sighed. "The father trains the incoming heir for the throne. When it's time, we just expect that they're ready for it."
Derek sensed something in his voice. With a wary tone, he asked, "I'm guessing that didn't work out too well?"
"When the barbarian tribes invaded and brought the Empire to ruins," Splinter began, his voice somber, "We were fully capable of holding them back. When the daemons came, that was when things got grim. But it got worse because our Emperor just...didn't understand."
"...I got a feeling you're about to explain that." Derek said with a tone that implies he believes he knows what it meant.
"While there's no way we could've gotten through it without damage," Scarface scowled immensely, "If we had an effective response from the start, at least we could've saved some of it. Enough to rebuild. But no...everything up to Ironpeaks was destroyed. All because the last Emperor didn't want his fun party time to be ruined."
"Was it really that bad?" Derek asked with hesitant curiosity. "The uh...Emperor and what you had to fight against?
Scarface nodded slowly, holding a grim gaze to the gray-fur. "You'd never tell by how things look now, but trust me. It was just ruin and fire. And as for the Emperor...there was nobody in my entire life had I wanted to kill more than that...kaking idiot."
"...I can't imagine what it was like then." Derek sighed, returning an emotional look towards Scarface. "Fighting as hard as you did, desperately trying to keep things together...and all while dealing with a self-centered ruler...I can understand why things just didn't seem worth it when it all ended the way it did."
"I don't really know if it was the greatest stroke of luck or fate that kept us alive," Splinter said with a warm smile, "But we're here. And now you are too. Again, as long as you're committed to being the new emperor, then we too will be committed in supporting you however we can."
Derek nodded with a smile of his own. He looked back towards the grand neoclassical, or rather, classical mansion ahead that housed the governor. He wanted to tell them his plans, that he won't be an emperor for long, but rather, a president. But, as much as he wanted to, he knew that it's still too early. Only until the Swebians are beaten back will he start sharing his ideas. Until then, he'll just need to do the best that he can.
"You know what, let's go ahead and talk to the guy." Derek stated simply. "Like it or not, better to start learning how to talk with nobles sooner rather than later. Splinter? How do I go about it?"
"Alright, the most important thing you should always remember is this..." Splinter began as the group approached the grand entrance. Once they were past the large metal doors, their first step in forging a new, better empire would begin.
Somewhere to the east, Devil's Spine Mountains.
"Just where are you taking us, woman?" Neville asked between huffs, struggling to lift himself over a ledge. His pet undead redrak was already on top, helping his master.
"I don't know, but the arcane wind is getting stronger." Isabella replied, carefully scanning the mountainous environment. "Wherever it is taking us, it must be close."
"I swear on Athul's bones, Isabella, if there's more climbing..." Neville gave a pathetic groan as he finally got onto the ledge, spending a few moments on the ground to catch his breath.
"I never realized you were this out of shape, Neville." Isabella giggled a bit with a grin after looking over to the hamel necromancer. "You'll need to change that soon, you're making your own pet look like a well-travelled warrior in comparison."
"Shut up." Neville grunted, rising to his feet.
"I bet you had many women enjoying your company, sir." The redrak zombie said with what appears to be a smirk on its rotten mouth. "Every one of them just swoons and falls for you upon hearing your voice. Desiring you after-"
"Stop." Neville interrupted sharply with a glare. "I already have half a mind to decapitate you and leave you as a chittering head for the rest of your days."
Immediately the zombie shut his decomposed lips, retreating into a docile-like posture.
"Okay, I think I might see it actually, c'mere." Isabella directed with a gesture. Neville eagerly walked over to the badrak's side, awaiting her instruction. Leaning slightly, she then pointed to a distant cave. "See that? The winds feel like they're congregating there. That might be what we're looking for."
"A cave? How original." The zombie muttered his sarcasm.
"Wait...not just any cave..." Neville said, cocking his head as he tried to focus on what he's seeing. "Something around there is...isn't natural. Are those...stakes?"
"...ah, I see them." Isabella stated once she found out what he was referring to. "Yeah...looks like stakes to me too. Considering where we are...we might have to deal with an ormel tribe living there."
"Should be no problem then." The undead redrak shrugged, his voice more audible this time. "Just smash a few heads and you'll be best friends with them."
"We don't have time to try and play nice." Isabella responded with sudden malice. "Neville? We're getting in there. Kill anyone who stands in our way. Raise them too, in case their friends are out and about."
"Uh, really?" Neville stammered in surprise. "I mean, as much as I enjoy working with flesh, I'm sure the ormel aren't that savage. Just, I don't know, put on a meaningless display of magic and that'll dazzle them."
"I said, we don't have time." Isabella warned darkly, practically pressing her face against his. "You want to keep learning from me? Keep up or get left behind. Let's go."
Without even waiting for a response, Isabella already went on ahead, possessed by sudden determination. Neville just stood there, wide-eyed, for a few moments before resigning to this course of action and readied his macabre staff.
"You didn't seem to hesitate with me, sir." The zombie sighed dejectedly as he followed alongside his master.
"Because I still don't see the necessity in rushing to killing." Neville sighed. "The ormel are easily dazzled by magic. Just throw a few sparks here and there and we won't have a problem. Maybe this is just how you draks are, always eager to spill some blood."
"So why follow one?" The rotting redrak cast a suspicious glare towards his hamel master. "Surely that's humiliating for you, isn't it? By learning from a drak, you're acknowledging its superior expertise?"
"...for the moment, yes." Neville scrunched his face, most likely suppressing his indignation. "I won't deny that Isabella has picked up a few things during her travels. But once I learn those secrets, just like with everything else introduced to this world, death magic will be recognized as a mel invention."
"Why are you people so obsessed?" The redrak said sharply, no doubt something that had been boiling for a long time. "What have we done to you that brought out such hatred? Anger? Why are you mel so determined to not only enslave or kill us, but to take what we made and say you did it?"
Neville glared at his minion, a glare that contained indescribable anger. "Because we are the inheritors of the promel, not you. Only we are fit to find and continue their legacy. You are just animals, who's place is to eat, sleep and rape in the wilds amongst yourselves. Whatever it was that destroyed the promel, this much is clear: You and your kind are an accident. A mistake. And like all mistakes a responsible being would fix it. And that time is coming very soon."
The undead minion couldn't speak a word, completely shocked to silence at not only the message he was hearing, but of the conviction behind those words. For much of his living days, he had heard about their message of supremacy. He had always wondered why they so fervently believed it.
And now that he finally got his chance to understand, he was horrified beyond measure.
...
"Isabella?" Neville called out once he and his undead minion finally arrived at the cave's mouth. He didn't find any bodies in or around the entrance, so he assumed that the badrak death mage already raised them to her service.
No answer. It was quiet. Deathly quiet. Casting a quick glance to his minion, who hesitantly nodded its loyalty, they both entered. Unlike the warm air outside, it was cool and somewhat damp within the cave. Seeing that the light was growing dark quickly, Neville raised his staff slightly. And from the cranium of the skull on top of it, a bright blue light shone outward, illuminating their path.
There's the bodies. Ormel laying on the ground. Except...no, these weren't fresh. The blood around them was dry. Neville even spotted the early signs of decomposition among them. No, Isabella did not kill these men. These were dead for some time. Tribal infighting? A conflict with another?
If that was the case, then considering it's still deafeningly quiet within the cave, either Isabella killed off hidden survivors, or the cave is filled with the corpses of those slain long ago. And considering the stakes and signs of encampment within and without the cave, that rules out a convenient spot for on-the-road execution.
Travelling through the winding paths of the cave and making sure to step carefully over the fallen bodies, Neville and his pet soon encountered a large, grand cavern. And dominating the cavern was a smooth hill, of which Isabella was at the peak. Judging by her posture and movements, it appears she's already setting up for some kind of ritual. Neville spotted an ormel at the base of the hill. Judging by the attire, it was most likely a shaman of an ormel tribe.
Based on what happened to its head, or lack thereof, as well as Neville remembering that some ormel tribes are led by shamans, he thinks he has an idea of what happened here. Some kind of mutiny that ended badly. Oh well, before he set out for this journey, he hasn't heard any word of ormel tribes moving to attack Swebia or outlying villages and freetowns. Not his concern.
"Isabella?" Neville asked after climbing up the hill. As he thought, Isabella already prepared a ritual. A sigil was marked in blood on the ground, candles were set up and alight.
"This is it." She replied simply, snapping towards him with the widest grin he'd ever seen. "This is what I've needed. Can you feel it, Neville? Can you?!"
"I, uh..." Neville was taken aback. Still, to placate her, he breathed in and concentrated, remembering her lessons on perceiving the winds of magic. And here he can feel it. And damn can he feel it. "Y-Yes, I can actually. There's...so much magic here."
"Exactly!" She giggled with joy. "I had the materials and know how, but I didn't have the power to do it. That's why I settled for any promel soul to test the resurrection ritual. And now? Now that I know it works, combined with the raw power we're feeling here...I can finally rescue Jesse!"
"And if it isn't Jesse, please don't just abandon another promel." Neville sighed as he crossed his arms, his staff nestled against his chest. "At the very least, let me have them. I for one want to know what they were like on some level."
"It won't just be any promel, Neville." Isabella sighed as she shook her head. "It will be Jesse. And if you want to talk to him, that's if he feels like talking, understand?"
"Ugh...fine." Neville replied with a resigned scoff. "Then could you teach me the ritual, so that I can summon a promel myself?"
"As soon as I get Jesse, I'll teach you everything as promised." Isabella assured him, standing to her feet. "Until then...head north."
"For...what?" He questioned in confused with a shrug.
"Blood." She replied simply. "Hamel blood. Exclusively male. Focusing on recently grown men will keep it fast. You select the sacrifices, I'll gather up the jars and a cart."
"That it? Just boys who have become men then?" Neville shrugged again.
"In regards to age, not whether or not they've bedded a woman." Isabella replied dryly. "And yes, as long as they are of that age, any man will do."
"Okay...now I'm curious though." Neville muttered before asking another question. "Does it need to be hamel? The redraks down south are closer, so-"
"Yes, it needs to be hamel." She interrupted quickly with an annoyed tone. "Like I said, if it isn't exclusively male or female, you will get odd combinations. As such, it stands to reason that mixing the blood of different races will also lead to the same results."
"Alright, so only hamel men, got it." Neville nodded his confirmation with a groaning sigh. "Through the mountains we go then..."
"Ah, before we do." Isabella spoke up and gestured across the cavern. "Let's make sure this place is guarded. We're still in ormel territory, so it's a matter of when, not if, a tribe will come and settle in here. Go on ahead, I'll prepare things accordingly."
"Alright, well, in that case, see you up north." Neville nodded before waving his departure, the redrak zombie following close behind as always.
Governor's mansion, Denasas.
"Governor Ampirius? They're here." A guard announced. Ampirius, a brown-furred and rather portly man, immediately stiffened his posture. Not once in his days as governor has such a thing ever happened. He had heard that Skafin had launched an expedition into the Devil's Spine Mountains, and had hoped that they would be passing by. And as joyous as it was that they're stopping, if only for supplies, in his cities, never had he thought they would request his audience!
But what truly took him by surprise was the fact that, in the request, it wasn't just Skafin, but also Sfin and their legendary father, Tarac! Not only the fact that Skafin, Sfin and Ahbet were left to their own devices within Ironpeaks, but Tarac himself?! Ampirius was filled with so much excitement, anxiety and dread that his entire body was quaking. He poured every bit of concentration into his mannerisms and body language. The last thing he ever wants is to be regarded as the man who angered three of the Hero Gods.
The doors then opened, painstakingly slow to him. And his heart skipped a beat when a column of legionnaires marched in. Their armor, weaponry, all of it could only be from Ironpeaks itself. With expert precision and well-drilled coordination, they split up and formed a wall on each side of the path between him and the door.
And when they came, that was when his heart stopped completely. There they were. Tarac, the Great Father. Skafin, the Indomitable Warrior. And even Sfin, the Lord of the Night. All three marching down through the walls the legion formed.
"W-Wel-cough." Ampirius struggled to speak. The anxiety of humiliating himself, the excitement of meeting three Hero Gods at once, all of it came together to reduce him to a silent fool. "Welcome to D-Denasas, great ones. I-I am Governor Ampirius. I cannot lie, y-you have me at a great disadvantage. Still, wh-what has deemed me worthy of your privileged presence, good sirs?"
"News, good and bad, Governor." Sfin spoke with a bow. "We'll begin with the bad."
"Swebia is marching to war against us." Skafin explained simply. "They've already mobilized their knights and are no doubt sending levy summons to their plebians. We must assume we don't have much time."
Ampirius let out a shocked gasp. "Wh...why? I can assure none of us have done anything!"
"That ties into the good news, of which Tarac will explain." Skafin answered, then stepping back.
The gray-fur stepped forward, and with a voice filled with authority and confidence, said, "The Empire is returning, Governor. And I'm the one who will lead you, as Emperor. Our current plan is to get to Ironpeaks, organize an army, and then make our way back up. Ideally, the Swebians won't have set one foot onto Empire soil when we meet."
Ampirius was taken aback. Tarac had been lost to time for countless generations. Nobody, not even his own children, knew where he was. And now, when yet the redraks are to be invaded once more, he's appeared! More than appearing, he's taking charge! But...
"Tarac...where were you?" Ampirius asked upon remembering the books detailing the Empire's fall. "Where were you when the mel barbarians and the daemons tore down our nation? We needed you then!"
Tarac let out a deep sigh of remorse before he answered. "I was...let's just say I've been imprisoned for some time. But, as you can see, I'm free now and I intend to help however I can. I give you my word, I will do everything I can to unite the people and secure our survival."
Ampirius still wanted to ask him. Ask who imprisoned him. But when he looked into Tarac's eyes, heard his voice...everything melted away. No, this wasn't love, not at all. It was...peace? Confidence? All he knew was, his fear and dread at the coming Swebians were no longer there. Instead, he feels relieved. Hopeful. That even though things look bad, he's now confident that things will work out.
"So then...you've come here to deliver such message?" Ampirius questioned, the tension he had felt in his body, too, melting away. "That even though the Swebians means to conquer us, you have come to deliver us?"
"I'll do more than just deliver you." Tarac replied, his voice projecting determination now. "Once the Swebians are dealt with, I will work to construct the greatest Empire our people, no, anyone has ever heard of. One that doesn't require conquering others, only if there's no other choice, but an empire born from the strength and creativity of the redrak people. The ultimate expression of our pride. Our identity as a people. If the mel become determined to defeat us, then let them come. Wherever they are, we will stop them. I offer my sincerest apology for not being here when you needed me most. I'm here now, and I intend to make up for lost time and then some. As long as I am Emperor, no redrak shall ever want for safety again. Within our nation, they will be safe and taken care of, this I promise."
Every word he spoke swelled something within Ampirius. Whatever his thoughts were, they all became how he would do his part. How confident he is that the redrak people are now secure in their safety. And somewhere back within his mind, he realized. Tarac's words are moving him. Filling him with confidence and drive he had never felt in his life before.
"Then don't let me keep you any longer, Emperor Tarac." Ampirius stated firmly as he stood up with a grin. "Go, make haste to Ironpeaks. I'll do what I can to prepare in case the Swebians reach us. Get the army you need. Kill the Swebians by the score, and when you come back, you will find me welcoming you with open arms as our new Emperor."
Tarac seemed surprise at his statement. He cast a glance to both Skafin and Sfin, who both gave smiling nods to him, most likely of encouragement. Then, summoning up all of the holy determination within him, Tarac said, "I won't take long, promise."
Next Chapter
AN: It would seem that once again, I am super late on this one. Don't you just love it when your classes assign big, complicated assignments all at once? Finals are coming up, so hopefully once those are over, I can get back to putting these out quicker for you guys!

I recently started a new D&D campaign because our neighbours said they were interested in taking it up. We've had a couple of months of weekly play now, myself as DM, my wife and the neighbours (through the magic of videoconferencing) making up a party of three adventurers.
I lightly reworked the opening three episodes of The C Team into an adventure which has given us four sessions' worth of fun and required almost no preparation on my part. Theft, guys, it's the way to go. I'm putting it up here in case anyone else wants to borrow any of it for an adventure. Let me know in the comments if you've had good, or bad, times porting C Team episodes into your campaigns.
If you're completely unfamiliar with C Team and have not watched/listened to the first few episodes of Season 1, er... spoilers I guess? You can start here.
So, without more ado, I give you...
The Inn of Nine Lives.
Setup
En route between two towns, the party find the road longer and more winding than expected. Rather than reaching their destination they find themselves still in the woods near sunset. Fortunately, as they round yet another turn in the road, they see ahead of them a roadside inn, its door invitingly open. The sign over the door shows a stylised picture of a black cat and bears the name "The Nine Lives". Candle- and firelight spills from the doorway, accompanied by the sound of merriment and conversation.
Adventure overview
The party have, unknowingly, been led astray by the illusory wiles of a Lamia. The inn is partly illusory and partly a succession of demiplanes, through which it amuses the monster to send travellers. Within the inn, the Lamia is occasionally present in the form of a black cat named Onyx. If the adventurers make it through all of the layers, they will re-emerge into reality and the monster will confront them in person. Our party was walking from Keldale to Red Larch but the geography is adaptable to your campaign.
Party level
The C Team began with a set of four 3rd-level characters. Our group consisted of three 4th-level characters, each with a magic item, because I am being kind to the newbies.
Stage 1: First Session
On first entering the inn, the party will see nothing particularly odd. A warm fire burns in a hearth in one corner; disparate groups occupy tables around the room, drinking, eating, talking and singing. Of particular note are a party of halflings who are playing chess; a mixed human/dwarf party dressed sombrely and singing funeral songs; at the bar, a dragonborn and an elf (both of indeterminate gender) appear to be flirting with each other over mixed drinks. A Generic Human Innkeeper stands behind the bar, drying glasses. A chandelier bears six large candles in a triangle shape. A staircase in one corner leads up to a mezzanine walkway overlooking the room; four closed doors lead off it, presumably to rentable rooms. A door behind the bar leads to a small kitchen.
A chalkboard behind the bar has a list of beers, as follows: First Session, Ambush Ale, Bigger On The Inside, Axiom Attic, Bed And Breakfast. The party may eventually grasp that these correspond to the challenges they will face.
The innkeeper will cheerfully provide the party with food and drink and offer a room rental for the night (1sp per person). An upstairs room sleeps four, containing two bunkbeds and a small chair and table. The DM can introduce Onyx as a perfectly nondescript black cat at this stage; she does nothing suspicious. Mice are optional.
Shortly after entering the inn the party should start to notice oddities. The door remains ajar but the outside world darkens very quickly to an impenetrable night. Windows appear to be shuttered tightly but, if examined very closely, are actually illusory and nonexistent. The halflings' chess game is a pantomime, the same pieces shifting back and forth repeatedly. The same songs are repeated at regular intervals. Conversations are content-free short loops. Patrons start to leave, vanishing into the night outside; if the party wait for a half hour the inn will be totally deserted. Nobody here except the party is truly real.
The adventure transitions to the next stage when any member of the party attempts to leave through the front door; or, if they actually stay in a room overnight, as soon as they emerge into the inn in the morning.
Stage 2: Ambush Ale
The party are in a completely deserted version of the inn. The chandelier still burns, the fire is out. The floor is noticeably unswept. The door is firmly closed and cannot be opened by force.
Lurking in ambush are two Brooms of Animated Attack, one leaning behind the bar and one near the fireplace, and two Mimics (each with half the usual HP of a Mimic, if your party is low level) which have taken on the appearance of bar stools. The party is ambushed as soon as anyone interacts with any one of these objects. By harping on the unkempt nature of the room I was able to lead the party to pick up a broom to sweep up...
When the foes are defeated, the door creaks open, revealing solid blackness without. When any party member passes the door, the adventure transitions to the next stage.
Stage 3: Bigger On The Inside
The passage through the tunnel-like darkness brings the party to a rough archway gouged out of soft whitish chalk-like rock. They emerge onto dusty, hard-baked desert ground, emerging from a cave mouth at the foot of a cliff of incredible height. Rather than sunlight, the plain is illuminated by six bright stars forming a triangle high overhead. Vague, mountainous shapes are dimly visible in the hazy distance.
The party have effectively been shrunk to sub-mouse size; the desert ground is floorboards, the cliff a plastered wall, the stars are the chandelier. Try to string the party along as long as possible before they catch on - we managed a good half-hour.
After some hours of cautious travel the party can reach the base of another massive cliff of darker material (this is the bar) near which mighty tree-trunks reach into the sky (these are chairlegs). In this vicinity the party can encounter a tribe of mice foraging for crumbs; at this scale the mice can be given Brown Bear stats if needed. If nobody has Speak With Animals the party will have to work around the "bears" or fight them if necessary. If communication is possible, the party will be greeted as Far Mice and their help implored in dealing with The Silent Darkness, That Which Comes In The Night - Onyx.
All the party actually have to do is make their way to the door (several days' travel equivalent on foot) and escape by crawling underneath it - the gap between door and floor is, at their scale, easily passable. However, they can be kept involved and distracted in mouse/cat politics for as long as you and they want. Onyx can be a looming shadow on the horizon, or the source of a low, rumbling, earthquake-like "MIAOW", to keep the party appropriately on edge. If they attempt to confront the cat it will have (relative to their scale) the statistics of an Ancient Black Dragon, that is, actual combat would be suicidal. Avoiding the cat's attentions should be handled as a puzzle/skill check scenario.
In our game, the party made friends with the mice and then impressed them with their stealth abilities by casting Pass Without Trace. The mouse queen and her court begged to be taught these mysteries, leading to a whole-party series of skill checks including Arcana and Performance, an off-label use of Channel Divinity, and some spellcasting; this added up to the party successfully initiating several of the mice as, effectively, Druids. Our party are working for Silvanus, it made sense at the time. Yes, bears have a high enough Wisdom score to multiclass into Druid, don't @ me.
In gratitude, the mice agreed to carry them to the door, giving us a tense stealth run followed by a high-stakes chase as Onyx pursued our scuttling crew, toppling beers and chess sets as she went, yes I ripped this off completely from the show, it was great. Our Paladin even attempted to use a whip to lasso another party member and they don't even know about Walnut and the Thorn Whip issue.
On escaping under the door, the party go on the next stage...
Stage 4: Axiom Attic
This deeply self-indulgent episode replaces K'Thriss' encounter with their patron, and can be skipped if your table prefers action to philosophy.
After another tunnel-like transition through darkness, the party find themselves standing in what appears to be a rather nice cafe. A few small tables have been pushed together in the middle of the floor. Seated around the tables are an angel (androgynously beautiful and clothed in white samite; named Deborah), a devil (likewise androgynously beautiful and wearing very well tailored dark business clothes. Basically Spookybot from Questionable Content. Named Mary), and a demon (a vaguely humanoid figure apparently made mostly from molten tar. When it touches the table it leaves smouldering fingerprints that burn away rapidly to nothing. Name unpronounceable, but translates roughly as That Which Lurks). They are accompanied by a massive robotic figure; this is a Marut from the plane of Order.
The party have been teleported to Sigil, the view out of the picture windows is geometrically confusing to people used to living on a round planet. The Marut will explain to them that they are now in the Cafe Axiom and have been brought here to adjudicate a metaphysical dispute between the other three entities. The party are suitable judges because (insert your own reason here) and were conveniently en route between realities, making their diversion here convenient and easy.
If the party attempt to leave, they will find that a geometric transformation is in place such that the distance between them and the exit is approximately ten thousand miles. If they try to fight, the consortium of powerful planar entities will suppress them patiently and without effort. Sitting at the table should be the easy option.
The nature of the Cafe Axiom is such that, when you order food and drink, you get what you order, by definition. Have fun exploring the party's drink and snack choices. In our game, the angel drinks vodka and tonic, the devil drinks espresso, and the demon drinks beer, or rather, the beer evaporates and the stein melts when pressed into the demon's molten face. Orders appear on the table without fuss.
The contention between the three concerns the true nature of Freedom. They have been arguing for several millenia and would like the party to adjudicate so they can move on to another topic. The Marut acts as a facilitator and calls on the various entities to state their cases, which are as follows:
Deborah: Virtue is Freedom, because it is by Virtue that we are freed from the tyranny of our vices and baser natures. In the Heavens, we enjoy true liberty: the freedom from sin.
Mary: Law is Freedom, because freedom requires choice and choice is meaningless without consequences. The Nine Hells are the true home of liberty, because there, everyone makes their own deals and faces their own consequences.
Lurks: Chaos is Freedom. These two idiots have spent many words decorating their own chains. In the Abyss, you can do exactly as you choose, and so can everyone else. You may not like it when others do as they please to you, but that just means that Freedom is not what you actually wanted.
The Marut will not state its own opinion spontaneously but the players can ask, in which case it will say: Freedom does not exist. Choice is an illusion. That which happens is inevitable and that which does not happen is impossible.
Each member of the party can express their opinion. There is not, by construction, a "right" answer. In our case, two players sided with the demon, rather to my surprise, while our Tiefling sided with the devil, Mary. As a result: the angel became very tight-lipped and their drink flashed into steam. When they calmed down and got a refill they expressed regret and hopes for the party's redemption. The devil was philosophical and gave our Tiefling a promise that should they meet in future, they will deal together honestly (this will have a payoff if I shove the party into Avernus later...). The demon was hugely amused and said that, if it meets the party again, it will devour their bodies and souls, but then it was going to do that anyway.
When everyone has given judgement, the Marut disintegrates into a pile of cogs, having completed its purpose, and the party are catapulted into the next stage.
Stage 5: Bed and Breakfast
The party emerge stumbling out of the door of one of the upstairs rooms in the inn, piling up against the mezzanine railing. The room behind them is empty except for the bunkbeds, chairs and table. In the room below, most of the furniture has been piled up against where the door should be. One table and a few chairs remain. Seated there, enjoying beer and stew, are three figures: adventurers who raise their glasses to the party and say "Heyyyyy!".
The figures below are Shpion, clearly a rogue of some kind (an NPC Spy); Magnus (NPC Knight), a huge figure in plate-mail; and Laura, a wizardy type (NPC Mage scaled down to 5th level caster) who is constantly reading and making notes in a book. Magnus is mostly concerned with eating.
The inmates will show the party this stage's gimmick - the beer mugs refill themselves if you grind them three times on the table and say "Prosit!", while the bowls fill themselves with stew if you turn them over twice. Shpion does most of the talking. According to the inmates, they came here a couple of months ago after barely escaping the cat; they were assailed by a succession of monsters coming through the door until they blocked it up; and now they are working on plans to escape. If pushed they will claim, sadly, that a fourth member of their party died while fighting the monsters. They will invite the party to take any room other than the one nearest the stairs, which is theirs.
They are, of course, lying. They have killed several previous parties that caught up to them here. Shpion has persuaded the others that nobody can be allowed to proceed through the door. Their fourth party member, a Monk named Agnis (I used Fire Monk homebrew stats I found online), is bound and gagged in their room upstairs, having lost a political debate with Shpion. Agnis is trying to attract attention by banging their head against the door - anyone passing near the door, e.g. when going up and down stairs, can notice the knocking with a DC 15 Perception check.
The inmates are waiting for an opportunity to turn on the party when they can catch them unawares. How long this lasts before combat breaks out depends on how you and the party play out the conversation. In our case, the Fighter was upstairs and picked up on the suspicious noises from the room; Laura kicked off with a Suggestion that they should so as they were told; the rest of the party threw down at once, fortunately breaking Laura's concentration early on. If Agnis is freed, he goes for Shpion to the exclusion of any other consideration.
If anyone manages to get behind the bar and examine the trapdoor to the cellar, there are multiple decomposing bodies down there which will rather give the game away.
In our case, Agnis was freed, Shpion and Laura were killed, Magnus surrendered. After resting up, the party let Agnis and Magnus go first through the cleared door, then followed...
Out in the Open
The party emerge from a long-ruined inn, its remaining stonework almost lost in moss and creepers. There is no sign of anyone else (e.g. survivors from the prevous stage). Shortly thereafter, a tall, rather flustered-looking Elven woman will emerge from the woods. Introducing herself as Verila Mia and claiming to be a warden of the woods, she will be full of apologies for not having been on hand to help, and will blame the oddities of the inn on a conjunction between this plane and the Feywild.
Verila is lying and is Very much a Lamia. She will seek any opportunity to lay hands on the party (comforting hugs, a sympathetic hand on the shoulder, etc.) so as to impose her Intoxicating Touch and prevent them using Insight, Perception etc. to see through her illusions and deceptions. She tried to persuade them to come to her encampment nearby.
If the party become confrontational, or if she can get one person alone for a moment, she will use Suggestion to make one victim assist her in dealing with their uncouth and impolite comrades. When she loses concentration or is bloodied, her Elven seeming will fall away revealing her bestial nature as a weirdly lizardy lion-centaur thing. We had some excellent inter-party conflict before the Lamia lost control of the Warlock.
When the Lamia finally dies, the last layers of illusion fall away. The party are far off their road in the depths of the woods, and the ruined inn is a charnel pit of bodies ancient and modern. The bodies of any survivors from the previous stage are found murdered in the bushes, the Lamia having done her dark work upon them. Our party looted the knight's plate-mail nonchalantly.
The Lamia's den can be found nearby and holds several hundred GP worth and a couple of magic items. The Necklace of Intensity is an arcane focus and grants an attuned wearer +1 to hit with spell attacks. The Pearl of Recovery can be used once per day as an action to regain one expended spell slot of up to 3rd level.
Aftermath
The party can, with some scouting, find their way back to the lost road - they will realise that the Lamia must have diverted them with illusions hours before they came to the inn. Our party made it safely to Red Larch, where they are currently explaining to Prophe Dran that there may be some Druid bears in the forest north of the Keldale road now. And they made it up to 5th level.

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Wallace
The sun was a little higher in the sky than I meant it to be by the time I made it to the street where I was to meet Valentine. I'd meant to get up early, take what would probably be my last bath in a while, grab my coat, and make myself scarce before the rest of the manor had really woken up. Unfortunately, I'd spent a bit more time in bed than I'd meant to, and was still a little drowsy. I was thankful then for the brisk early morning breeze and the light rain it carried.
It wasn't quite cool enough for my wool winter coat, but it was what I had so it's what I wore. If I'd just been out and about I might not have minded the rain too much, but if I was going to be travelling all day then it would be best not to do it wet. So I turned up the collar, but left the front open so it wouldn't get too toasty.
My gaze was drawn by a little purple hand waving at me from a ways down the street, and I joined Valentine in front of a small cafe. The tables were sheltered from the rain by a small white and tan striped awning, but Valentine was the only one of the patrons braving the weather.
She was wearing the same bulky flight suit as I'd last seen her in, and she was leaning forwards with her elbow on the table, her cheek resting in one hand. A small teacup sat empty on the table in front of her.
"You're late," she observed.
Her demeanour was more like a tough old sergeant than a noble lady, and she wore a generally unimpressed expression.
"Sorry," shrugged, as I took the seat across the table, "It took longer than I thought it would to get out of there without arousing suspicion."
"Round two took a while?" Valentine guessed, a small smirk creeping into her stern expression.
"I-" I stammered, and already I could feel my cheeks starting to burn, "That's not-"
"Fey have very sensitive noses," Valentine informed me, as the smirk started to creep into her eyes.
"I took a bath," I replied defensively.
"Very, sensitive noses," she reiterated, "And didn't I warn you that Temerity had certain plans for you?"
Dammit, now I was really blushing, "Actually, it seemed like what she really wanted was my political help. Everything else was just, uh..."
"Sweetener?"
I was rescued by the approach of the waiter, who bore yet more tea for Valentine and asked for our orders. I prompted Valentine to order first while I glanced over the menu I'd yet ignored. I asked for only a little bacon and sausage, as I still wasn't sure if the meat they ate was the same as what I had back home. Most of my order was fruit and pancakes. Still a risk, but I judged it to be less so than the meat. Besides, the potatoes and vegetables I'd had the night prior had at least been what I'd expected them to be. Truthfully, I was probably just being paranoid, but all the same, it wouldn't do me any good to be stumbling about the wilderness while suffering from food poisoning.
Grateful for the interruption, as it gave me a chance to collect myself, I waited until the man had retreated before asking about the concern I'd been ruminating over since I'd left the manor.
"Temerity mentioned that there are a few physiological differences with fey," I pointed out.
Needling me had brightened Valentine's expression considerably, but now it soured once again.
"Did she now?" Valentine grimaced.
"Look, as long as you're serious about your promise to teach me magic, I'll carry you on my back if that's what it takes," I promised her, "I mean, ideally you'd get a horse or something, but whatever. The point is, I'm good with our deal as-is. But you've got to tell me what's up with fey biology so I know what I'm getting myself into. Same goes for the pheromone stuff, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some explanation of how that works if we're going to be travelling together."
Valentine nodded slowly, "That's fair. But if I'm going to tell you about how our pheromones work, then in exchange I think it's only reasonable if you share how it is that humans are able to influence minds. Our pheromones are not something we speak about with non-fey, if I'm to share those secrets then I think it's only sensible to expect secrets in return."
I frowned, "Humans can't influence minds. I mean I guess we can threaten, bribe, whatever, just like anyone else. But it's not like we've got something like your pheromones. That I'll tell you for free."
"I'm serious Wallace," Valentine insisted, leaning low to the table and speaking in a near-whisper, "You tell me how humans do it, and I'll tell you what fey can do."
I furrowed my brows. Clearly, this Simon guy had done something to convince her of this. I just didn't have any idea what it might be.
"Valentine," I began, leaning in a little as well, "This isn't me trying to protect the secret by acting as if one doesn't exist. I can't do anything like what you seem to be imagining. That said, I'm guessing Simon has done some freaky shit and you'd like to know how."
Valentine nodded, and I continued, "What I can promise, is that I'll help you figure out how he's doing it. It's possible he's from a different world than me, maybe a really different world, but I bet we're working with a lot of the same information. If he's relying on something that came from Earth, then I should be able to get some idea of what he's doing."
"That's not terribly satisfactory," Valentine replied, "But it will have to do."
She opened her mouth to speak once again, but stopped and glanced to the side.
The waiter delivered our food, and after asking if there was anything else he could do for us, retreated back within the cafe.
"I take it Temerity covered the basics?" Valentine asked, after taking a bite of her omelette.
"Cartilage skeleton, not very strong, and prone to fainting at the slightest physical exertion. I take it she was exaggerating?"
"No," Valentine replied grimly, "She was not."
Valentine reached into the neck of the flight suit and withdrew an amulet. The chain was very solidly built, at least as jewellery went, with alternating links of silver and gold. Hanging from the chain was a diamond about as large as her thumb. Not very large as thumbs go, but really quite large as diamonds went. Stout as the chain was, it wouldn't be great if someone got hold of it and tried to shake her around, but at least the diamond wasn't coming loose any time soon.
"This gaudy thing isn't just for decoration, it holds an enchantment. Other fey might baulk at the thought of so much as a brisk walk, but I refuse to be limited by what the gods gave me. This diamond provides a significant source of both Body and Strengthen mana, which is used to greatly enhance my stamina," she explained, "You'll not need to carry me on your back, and in fact, you might find it difficult to keep up with me."
I smiled, "We'll see, I can go all day if I need to."
"Is that why you were so late this morning?" she teased, hiding her smirk behind her teacup.
"Aren't you supposed to be a noblewoman or something?"
"Or something," she agreed.
I waved a hand dismissively, "What about the chain, does the gold and silver mean anything or do anything?"
"The gold provides greater Protection mana," she provided, running the thick chain between her fingers, "It's not as much as the diamond provides, but few materials provide as much mana as gemstones do. The silver provides Mind mana. Together they are meant to shield the mind against intrusion."
"Does it work?"
Valentine spread her hands, "Not against Simon's trickery, whatever form it takes. But enchantments like this are common enough, they're intended to stop magical intrusion, and for that purpose, they are more than sufficient."
"So when you say that something 'provides mana'-" I began, but Valentine made a cutting gesture with one hand.
"Eat, there will be plenty of time to talk when we're on the road, if you continue to bombard me with questions then you'll never finish at this rate."
I let Valentine lead me out of the city, she was the one who actually knew the way after all, as I hadn't really been paying attention the first time I'd been through.
There were guards on both sides of the city's gates, armed with pikes, but they didn't see fit to bother us. Maybe they recognized Valentine, or maybe they didn't much care. Probably the latter, as the elves on duty, all of them women, seemed pretty relaxed.
Which I supposed was sensible. Guarding the gates must be pretty low-stress, at least once you got over your fear of heights.
There was a sort of landing just beyond the gates, and beyond that, a sheer drop to the valley floor below. To the right, a cliff face, and to the left, the long sloping road down the side of the mountain. It was just wide enough for two carts to pass, and while there was a railing fencing off the landing, it ended only a few hundred feet down the slope.
I'd probably be pretty relaxed too if I had to guard the place. Sure, you could sneak pretty close to the base of the mountain if you stuck to the forests, but at that point the guards would still have a good couple hours to prepare for your arrival as you made the climb.
"We won't have to walk," Valentine assured me, "The chain lift takes people to the valley before noon, we'll take one of the carriages down."
The chain lift she referred to looked like what I'd seen at small ski-slopes, only scaled up. At a ski-slope it would be a simple loop of cable or rope, anchored top and bottom, and run at a constant speed. A skier would grab on by hand, and the cable would pull them to the top. The only difference was they'd swapped out the cable for chains as thick as my wrist. I couldn't make out how it was anchored down in the valley, but up here the chains led up into a wooden hoarding built into the side of the city wall.
Just underneath the hoarding was a parking lot, there's probably some old-timey word for it, but I thought of it as a parking lot, with several carriages. They appeared to be purpose-built for use with the chain lift, with one axle set quite a bit lower than the other. Up here on the landing, it meant that the passenger compartment would be uncomfortably slanted, but it appeared to match the grade of the slope and looked like it would level out once the carriage was on its way down. There were no horses hitched to any of them, and instead, they had a metal linkage where the harnesses would usually attach.
There were a few elven men standing nearby. They kept an eye on a couple of mules while passing the time with a game of dice. Valentine got their attention, and they pulled the carriage Valentine had picked out into position near the chain.
I briefly wondered if I should be holding the door for her, but she didn't give me the chance. She flipped the latch, and took a seat inside on the high side, holding onto a grab bar inside to keep from slipping off.
Valentine had evidently picked this carriage out for a reason, as waiting inside were a pair of travel packs, and what looked like the 19th century version of a softshell rifle case. A little over six feet long and made of oiled leather, I guessed that it held the weapon I'd been promised. I moved one of the packs aside and took a seat across from her on the low side of the carriage.
She banged a fist on the carriage wall, and there was a lurch as it started to move. I heard a metallic thunk thunk thunk as the linkage tried to find purchase on the moving chain, and then a ka-chunk as the carriage surged forwards.
I felt a strangling tightness in my stomach as my mind threw up the image of us hurtling down the miles-long slope with no way to stop until we either hurtled off the side or crashed into the trees at the bottom of the mountain.
"This is the brake," Valentine explained, indicating the lever by her hand, "If anything happens I'll throw this and we'll come to a stop."
"A very good sense of smell," I muttered, eyeing her suspiciously.
"You're not fond of heights," she observed.
"Not overly no."
I began to relax as the carriage levelled out and I heard the linkage clanking as it took the weight of the carriage. I wasn't very confident in sixteenth-century braking technology, but on the other hand, we weren't moving much faster than a jog. A horse would have drawn us faster, at least on level ground, so if Valentine were quick with the brake, we would probably be okay.
"So. You can smell fear," I said matter of factly, "What else can you do?"
"I suppose this is private enough," she agreed, "Is Temerity the one who first told you about the pheromones?"
"Eh, sorta. I ran into a fey leading a bunch of sprites when I first showed up," I began, "He was putting out some musky scent, drove me half-mad, and I'm guessing it's how he was able to get the sprites to fight to the last man while Temerity and her buddies cut them apart."
Valentine blinked, "What."
"What?" I asked, a confused expression on my face.
"You're saying that you were affected? You're sure?" she demanded.
"Yeah, should it not work on me?"
"The pheromones only work on sprites," Valentine insisted, "This has been tested extensively."
"Valentine, I was a pretty good distance away from the guy and it was all I could do to not lose my shit. It works on humans. Haven't you had Simon around to try it on?"
Valentine clasped her hands under her chin and spent a long moment gazing down at the floor.
Finally, she spoke, "By the time Simon happened along, we'd already come to the conclusion that it didn't work on anyone else. I bet no one bothered to try it on him, and the pheromones he's likely to catch a whiff of by happenstance are a great deal less potent than what's used on the battlefield."
"Can you do more stuff than just get people mad?"
"Anger, fear, and arousal," she listed, lifting her gaze to meet mine, "We can also calm the same emotions, and sense them in others through scent."
"The scent thing, I take it that works on anyone- any species I mean?"
Valentine nodded, "It's not the same scent for every species, but it's not hard to learn a new species. Some of us have also figured out a way to use the pheromones to make the sprites giddy, some combination of the pheromones to increase arousal and calm both fear and anger. I never bothered to learn though."
"Why not?"
She scowled, "It's just another tool to control the sprites, a way to reward them when they do what you want, just like the fear pheromones are used to punish them when they don't. And I refuse to treat another person like they're an animal to be trained."
"I'm sorry," I said honestly, "I didn't mean to needle you."
"You were just curious," she allowed, "I'm not mad at you."
"Last question about the pheromones then," I promised gently, "Is there a limit to how much you can use before you run out?"
"Not particularly, the fey you saw leading the sprites, they might run out if they were spreading pheromones for a couple hours. But as I mentioned, outside of a fight, no fey is going to use nearly that much. Though, I suppose," she continued, raising her eyebrows thoughtfully, "it does sometimes happen with young fey still going through puberty. They'll get startled, or something will set them off, and all their pheromones will be released at once. Very embarrassing, but that's about it."
"Alright. You held up your end, what's the deal with Simon?"
She smiled just a little, "I'm surprised you haven't asked about magic yet."
"Oh god, you have no idea. I have so many questions rattling around my head that I feel like I'm gonna explode," I pitched my voice up a little in a poor attempt to mimic hers, "'Oh yeah, this diamond is full of magic, it turns me into a marathon runner, no big deal. Anyway, want some more tea?' I mean seriously, it's driving me nuts. But once I start asking questions I'm not going to be able to stop myself."
"Well, I don't know the man's life story," she said, smiling, "but I've found out as much as I can since he came to my attention. His play for power is a relatively recent development, but since learning magic he's always been peripherally involved in politics."
"He's that strong with magic?" I asked.
"No, not at all," she said with a shake of the head, "Granted, his expertise with Body magic is considerable, but he seems incapable of using any other type of mana. The political involvement is more to do with having so many loyal spellcasters. Though in fairness, his inability with non-Body magic may all be an elaborate deception, but it would need to be one he planned since before he cast his first spell."
"The mind is part of the body, maybe that's how he does it then?" I suggested, "The mind control I mean."
She shook her head emphatically, "No, Mind and Body magic are different. If Simon were using Mind magic on people then he would have been found out almost immediately. If the first thing we fey discovered upon landing here was Mind magic, then the second was how to defend against it," her expression was already less than pleased, but it soured further, "The sprites have been used as test subjects since the beginning, experimenting with how a mind might be invaded, broken, or defended. Elves, gnomes, goblins all come to Pelignos to learn from the best, and the amulets made by fey are thought to be the best when it comes to protecting against Mind magic."
"My first instinct would be to say that he really was playing the long game from the start," I granted her, "But that would make learning any other type of magic such a pain. He'd need a teacher that he knew would be absolutely loyal, and I don't know how he could possibly know such a thing. Probably a bunch of teachers actually, since I'm guessing everyone has their own specialties. He might be able to strongarm one person to keep quiet, but no way in hell he could keep more than one or two people under his thumb. Someone would talk, they'd either wriggle out of his grip or just say to hell with it and spill the beans."
Valentine grimaced, "You say that, but it's exactly what it seems he's done."
"You've got to explain what that means. Because it's starting to sound like this guy might be the first person in history to actually pull off a big conspiracy without anyone leaking the truth, and if he can do that, I'm pretty sure he's actually a unicorn."
"It started with his first tutor, or at least, everything I've learned seems to suggest she was his first tutor," Valentine clarified, "At some point- and again, this is a little unclear since it wasn't until recently that anyone realized they should have been paying attention to what Simon was doing. At some point, she appears to have become completely smitten with Simon. He picked up more sorceresses as he went, quickly inspiring the same devotion, and taking control of their assets along the way. Houses, land, money, everything."
"All female?" I asked.
"Yes and no. He has this manor in the city where all his sorceresses live, and he's invited no sorcererers, or men of any kind in fact. The serving staff is female as well, but from what I've gathered I believe he's pulled the same trick with men, but only so as to get them out of the way."
I rubbed my temples, I could already feel a migraine coming on.
"So you're saying," I began, "That after arriving from another world, he's somehow managed to assemble a harem of women who are inexplicably interested in him, despite the fact that he really doesn't have anything to offer anyone?"
"That's about it," she agreed.
I sighed, "For fuck's sake."
Valentine's end of the carriage began to pitch up, and the light streaming into the carriage dimmed. A moment later I heard the linkage clank free of the chain, and felt the carriage rock as it was guided off to one side.
We'd barely come to a halt when Valentine slung one of the packs over her shoulder and leapt down.
I followed her out, and found that we stood within a large cave. The walls were too regular and the corners too square for it to be a natural formation, but beyond that, little work had been done to make the place look pretty.
We were near the back of the cave where the rest of the carriages were parked, with yet another team of elven men passing the time as they waited for the next carriage to make its way down.
The area was lit by a few sputtering oil lamps, but it seemed wasteful, as the daylight streaming in through the mouth of the cave was near to blinding. I suppose it said something about the elven perception of light, I don't know exactly what it said, but it said something.
A metal pillar had been embedded in the stone near the middle of the cave, almost a foot thick and running from floor to ceiling. It was set with several rollers, and was where the chain looped around to head back up the ramp to the city.
Valentine tilted her head towards the opening, and I followed her out into the late morning sun. The rain had since passed, so I threw my coat over the top of my pack.
"We still good for time?"
Valentine spread her hands, "Typically surveyors like to head out at first light, but you had to finish burning your bridges."
I winced, "Perhaps I was a little self-indulgent."
"We don't live forever Wallace, and we only get one chance to enjoy it," Valentine advised sagely, "If I was going to be mature about things, I wouldn't be running away from all my responsibilities with a man I'd only just met."
"Think she'll be mad?"
"Oh. She'll be fucking livid."
"Think she'll come after us?" I asked, peering back up at the city.
Valentine shook her head "I doubt it. By the time she realizes we've left the city, we'll have enough of a headstart that she won't have a chance."
"You say that, but I don't see any horses around here," I observed.
Forget the horses, there wasn't even a road. We were now well within the area susceptible to the tides, and it showed. The last few hundred feet of the ramp was poorly defined with no sharp edges, and it blended smoothly into the hills around. Even the grass underfoot looked fresh, as if I were the first person to ever tread on it, which didn't track with this being the sole way into a city of thousands.
Looking back, I saw how the cavern was able to persist, despite the tides and the mists conspiring to wipe the slate clean.
Two steel doors, each a few inches thick and set with leather seals, rested in tracks that ran across the mouth of the cave. When pulled closed they would seal the opening, with only a little gap for the chain. I still wasn't certain of the exact mechanics of how the tides and mists worked, but from the looks of things, the door would be flush with the stone around once closed. With nothing for the tide to sweep away, I supposed that the only risk would be if the mists dropped something on top of the doors.
"Do you know how to ride?" Valentine asked wryly.
"No," I admitted, "I don't even know where you'd find a horse large enough for me."
"Quite," she observed, "And I don't ride anymore, so I have no need of one either. Come, we may talk on the way."
I adjusted the pack on my shoulder and matched her pace. I wasn't about to argue with her, having a horse for her might up our pace a little, but in the grand scheme of things, it likely would make little difference. Besides, if the landscape down here in the valley had as chaotic a potential as it seemed, then for all I knew the horse may end up being more a liability than an asset. But I wasn't certain we'd make it that far, if Temerity was really on the ball...
"My only concern is that Temerity seems really fond of horses, being a knight and all," I pointed out, "And I don't fancy a fight, especially if she brings friends."
"Temerity's not going to start a fight," Valentine assured me, "She'll be mad, and if she gets the chance she'll try to strongarm you back under her influence. But she'll not turn to violence. And in any case, she'll have a hell of a time getting horses down from the city," she gestured back over her shoulder at the ramp, "The slope is so steep and so long that it's tricky to take horses down it in the best of times, try to rush and like as not she'd just injure her horse."
"Hmm, fair enough," I mused.
We left the clearing at the base of the ramp, and ventured into the thick evergreen forest that spread across the foothills at the base of the mountain. Again there was the feeling that I was the first person to take this path. There was little underbrush, just the odd bush or fern, with most of the ground covered by fallen pine needles, turned brown with age. The pine needles were so thick on the ground that I may as well have been walking through snow, with each step kicking up little puffs, leaving clear tracks behind the two of us.
There was an all-encompassing sense of calm, and for a brief moment, I thought that Valentine might be the cause. But was only the musty scent of the pine needles underfoot, and the verdant smell of fresh vegetation carried through the forest on a gentle breeze.
No, it didn't take any tricky manipulation, after all, this was how I'd usually relax when things were getting to me. I'd go for a walk, and not come back until I'd found calm once again. Since moving to the city I hadn't the chance to take a walk anywhere that wasn't a carefully landscaped park, but all the same, the forest felt very familiar.
I grabbed the soft leather case from where it hung behind me, and swung it around in front so I could take a peek inside. The clasps were bits of polished horn, pushed through loops of cord, like the sort of thing you might see on the front of a trendy knit sweater. I undid them, and reached in gingerly.
"Wow," I breathed, as I withdrew the weapon.
It was a poleaxe. The haft was six feet long, stained a very dark brown, and a little more than two inches thick. The head was steel, with a broad but narrow axe blade on one side, with a small hammerhead opposite, and topping it off was a nine inch spike. The langets, reinforcing straps that held the head on, ran nearly two feet down the haft, and had been recessed so as to be flush with the wood. The other end of the haft was also capped in steel, with a blunt pyramidal protrusion that would enhance the effect of striking with the butt of the weapon.
I'd been doing historical European martial arts for a good long time, and while I wasn't the most experienced with the poleaxe, it was my absolute favourite. I'd placed in tournaments with the rapier, won tournaments with the greatsword, and just generally found it funny to fight with a smallsword, but it was the poleaxe that I enjoyed the most. The trouble with the poleaxe is that it's hard to practise with. It's easy to make a sword safe, even a great sword. As long as it's blunt and you've got enough padding you've little to worry about. You'll end up with some bruises, sure, but on the whole, you'd be safe.
The poleaxe, on the other hand, was specifically designed to fight fully armoured knights. So while a blunted sword might be safe to use no matter how much force you put behind it, if you hit someone with a poleaxe and really meant it, it wouldn't matter how well padded they were, you'd lay them out flat.
"That box of old tools covered the cost of this thing?" I asked incredulously.
"The broker I did business with was particularly interested in the bracelet you had," she related, "Cryptic bastard didn't tell me what sort of mana it contained, but it was interesting enough that he was willing to give me the axe on trade for it and the tools."
"My fitness tracker had magic in it?" I frowned.
"Everything has mana within it. The more exotic the material, the rarer the sorts of mana," she explained, "I'm glad you're happy with the weapon, but there is something I want to make clear."
She unzipped the front of her flight suit, drawing the zipper down to mid-chest, and pulled one lapel aside. She'd modified the flight suit, using scraps of something synthetic to create a pair of improvised holsters, each of which held a large double-barrel wheellock pistol.
"I don't want you to get the wrong idea, or to take offence, but I want to make sure that we both know where we stand." she said slowly, "If you touch me, I will shoot you."
I put the axe away and spread my hands, "It's okay," I said gently, "I understand."
"You do?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
"I know what I look like, Valentine," I shrugged, "It's not like I want people to feel unsafe around me."
She nodded slowly, and re-zipped the front of her suit while I closed the clasps.
The pistols were a bit of a surprise, but more that she had them, rather than their existence in the first place. Full plate armour and gunpowder had been contemporaries on earth, so it didn't surprise me that a society that could turn out armour like Temerity wore, also had firearms.
Being threatened with the pistols though, that was a little startling. But upon consideration, it actually put me at ease. It was as she'd said, now I knew where we stood. If Valentine had a problem, I now knew I could count on her to tell me what it was, even if the problem was me. And while I wasn't super keen on the fact that she seemed a little wary around me, it was an understandable sentiment and one that told me I'd ultimately made the right choice by siding with Valentine.
With her, the power dynamic was more or less balanced. I needed her to teach me magic and navigate, and she needed me to help her deal with whatever the wilds would throw at us. And if it came down to a fight, while either of us could give the other a lot of trouble, neither of us could really 'win'. So if she turned on me, I was strong and tough enough to get loose, even if she did shoot me. If I turned on her, well she had guns and magic to fight me off while she got away.
In short, it was a much better state of affairs than I had with Temerity. Even if I could take her in a fight, and I wasn't even sure of that, she was still top dog in the city. Whether I was sleeping with her or not, just staying in Parabuteo would place me within her power. And after hearing her speech yesterday, I'd realized that having silk sheets and amazon on-tap was not worth giving up my independence.
"We'll need to push hard to make it," Valentine began, changing the subject "But there's a pass several miles north. It's going to be our first chance to get to the other side of the mountains, and I'd like to make it through before we stop to sleep tonight."
"I take it that my dawdling is what's going to make things tight?"
"It's not the end of the world, we have the whole Long Night to travel through as well, but this is all the daylight we're going to get and I'd like to make the most of it."
"Twelve hours of daylight and thirty-six of night," I recited, "how are we breaking things up?"
"Well we keep pushing hard till nightfall," she said, and indeed she'd been setting a good pace so far despite her short stature, "And stop for our first rest a little after dark. We'll eat dinner, sleep, should take a little less than eight hours. Then we carry on, it will be dark without The Father, but I can light our way. Typically survey teams I travel with will try to aim for another ten hours, but if you can keep up with me I'd like to go for twelve. Then we have another rest break to eat and sleep, before making the final push."
"At which point, we'll either have made it, or we'll drown."
"We will make it," she assured me, "Even with us leaving a little late, we've several hours of margin."
"You said earlier that he can only use Body magic, what exactly does that mean?"
We hadn't bothered to stop for lunch, instead eating as we walked so as not to waste more time. We were actually moving more quickly than I might have expected, travelling through a dense pine forest. But with the underbrush nice and light, and without too many roots to trip on, our path was actually fairly clear.
"Can he only heal people, or use magic only on himself?" I continued, "Whose body does 'Body magic' refer to?"
"It's the body as a concept," Valentine clarified, "So his, or someone else's, it doesn't matter."
"What can he do to a body then? Does he just get some Body mana from a, what is your necklace, diamond? So he gets some Body mana from a diamond, waves his hand, and then reality rearranges itself however he likes. As long as what he likes involves screwing with someone's body?"
"No," Valentine replied with a shake of her head, "Well, not quite. If you want to do it properly, magic always requires two types of mana. One noun, which refers to what you wish your magic to act upon, and a verb, which describes what you wish to do," she reached into her collar and came out with the amulet, "So my amulet, I want it to make me stronger and increase my stamina. So it uses Body mana and Strengthen mana. There are limits though, the more substantial the change the more substantial the source of mana needs to be."
"And diamonds have a lot of mana in them?" I guessed.
"Yes, any gemstone does, in fact."
"Simon then, the only noun he can use is Body?" I asked, and Valentine nodded in agreement.
"What about the verbs, any limits there? Or do you know?"
"What you describe is exactly the problem, when it comes to Simon I'm certain of nothing. But to the best of my knowledge, he can use any of the verbs. He's particularly fond of Strengthen and Transform, however."
"Can Transform be used offensively?" I asked, wincing at the thought of the sort of body-horror that Simon might be able to inflict upon people.
"Yes, though that's not what he uses it for. Instead he uses the Strengthen-Transform combination to enhance his physical characteristics for short periods. I believe he has some permanent enchantments on his body already, his physique is suspiciously impressive, but the magic pushes it yet further and makes him capable of great feats of strength."
"Does it turn his hair yellow?" I sighed.
"No," she frowned, "Does the colour have some significance among humans?"
"It's, complicated. Complicated and not important. If he can use all the verbs, then what actually are they?"
She counted off on her fingers, "Communicate, Control, Create, Heal, Movement, Protect, Sense, Strengthen, Transform, and Weaken. Weaken is what's typically used in offensive Body magic, and Communicate is hardly used at all. Any combination of noun and verb, is possible, but not all need to make sense."
"Can you use more than one of each? I take it that you need at least one of each, but could I use two nouns and a verb, or a noun and two verbs?"
She nodded, "There's no true limit, at least as far as I know. Perhaps someone has found one and isn't telling, but there are practical limits. However much mana one might be able to gather, ultimately it comes down to the mind of the caster. A spell, in all its complexities, must be held in the mind as it is cast. Creating a blast of fire, however large it might be, is simple. With sufficient mana, even a novice might melt a city wall. Heating a piece of metal to a specific temperature, that's more complex, even if it requires a great deal less mana. Setting a trap, now that's one of the most complex uses of a spell, as it requires the caster to hold in their mind the conditions necessary to activate the trap. Typically it also requires including a second spell, Sense Body or some such, which adds yet more complexity."
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