So then 87 coming out on schedule. I know I'm spoiling you today ;) Time to crank up the wholesomeness possibly beat the shit out of some random guy in the street and generally figuring out what the fuck to do next.
As per usual UnwaveringGrey and TwoFlower68 have done their level best to sanitize the chapter. If I managed to slip one past them do please report it to your nearest execution squad so it may be dealt with properly.
In other news, proper art is officially commissioned and likely due sometime later this month. I'm so excited! But without further ado let's get on with the story.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
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Chapter 87: Knight In Shining Armor
“Wait, she is your only healer?” Tom questioned.
“Yes, they are a rare breed, young man,” The lady replied very apologetically, almost bowing before him.
“No, don't do that,” Tom protested. “You people both suffered and survived, not to mention your son technically saved me and Jackalope. Hopefully, Unkai can lend a hand when he gets here then, ‘cause she is spent,” Tom glanced at the healer who was still sleeping up against the wall where she had been when he woke up.
The Lady looked like she was going to protest until he reached the last sentence. “You brought a healer with you? Out here?” The lady questioned, clearly not believing him entirely.
“We did, yes, in case we found wounded. And that we certainly did. I was just hoping we could have Jacky’s ears looked at, but I guess that will have to wait.”
“I’m sorry, but we don’t have anything else that can help I’m afraid.”
“I hate not knowing what’s going on,” Jackalope exclaimed, crossing her arms looking at the two of them with a distinctly unimpressed expression.
“I guess I’ll be miming to you for a bit longer. Actually no, I brought the note block. I will be just a second,” Tom replied walking jogging over to his backpack, the confused Jackalope following along.
“You got something that can fix ears in there?” she questioned hopefully. She was getting a bit better at keeping the volume down, though she was still rather loud. Then again, that was pretty standard all things considered.
Tom got out the block to begin noting things down for her. ‘We can't fix your ears, not yet at least. Other people need to be looked at first. Maybe when we get home.’
She did seem a little annoyed after reading that, sighing a bit and looking back up at him.
“So what now, we help clean this place up? Take up watch? Or just sit back and relax?”
“You two sit back for now. I won’t have you risking your lives for our skins and then cleaning up the mess as well,” the old granny replied, trying to speak up enough to be heard across the room. Tom certainly didn’t have a problem with that. He did not really feel like hard work right now.
Jacky was clearly sore and her breathing still wasn’t quite right, so he guessed she could use the rest as well. “Do you have a place we can stay, or… ?”
“Infirmary is full I’m afraid. We do have some rooms,” the old lady replied.
“Actually I think we have a big friend in need of a bit of company when he wakes up,” Tom replied, looking towards Jarix. “We will keep our stuff with us if shit hits the fan.”
“If it does what?”
“Right, uhm… goes south. If bad things start happening,” the lady looked at him more than a little confused, but she relented eventually.
“Yes, we don’t have many people left who could fight. I will bring you something to eat, for the blood loss. I don’t know if it will help for your kind but it couldn’t hurt.”
They made their way to Jarix, who was sleeping like a rock. Tom began taking off the very uncomfortable holsters and belts. He looked like a fucking joke right now. Goddamn Florida Man running around with guns and ammo in his damn underpants. He put down the equipment in nice little piles, rechecking that everything was loaded if he needed it.
He could hear Jackalope getting out of her armor behind him. That stuff wasn't the most comfortable to sleep in after all.
“You okay?” Jacky asked in a rather worried tone after a bit. “After yesterday you’re… you’re not quite the same.” Tom turned around to look at her. She was looking at him with an expression of genuine worry.
‘That obvious, huh?’ Tom thought to himself, shoulders sagging even more. He couldn’t even blame her for catching it. His head just wasn’t in it right now, whether that was because of the fighting, the screaming, the blood loss, bodies flying everywhere last night, the fact they weren’t quite out of the woods yet, or that the ones back home would soon be getting worried. They were supposed to be back tonight after all. He didn't even know what time it was apart from rather early. He was also still tired as fuck despite just getting up. There was just too much to worry about right now.
“Look at me, would you?” Jackalope demanded, a hint of hurt in her voice. Tom snapped up to look her in the eyes, feeling more than a little ashamed of that. “Just like Sapphire said, you worry about everything. You can’t not worry… Well right now, just try not to, okay? It’s gonna be fine.”
Tom did crack a little smile before looking back down at the floor. That was very far from guaranteed, there were still many things which could go wrong. What if this wasn’t the only raiding party? What if Bizmati Keep was a ruin? What if something had found the kids in the forest? What if Jackalope's ears couldn't be fixed? what if…
Jackalope grabbed him by the shoulder, turning him around to face away from her. Then she folded her arms and wings around him, lifted him off his feet, and backed up against Jarix's side. She sat down in the nook of the dragon’s armpit and snuggled up against the dragon while clutching Tom tightly.
“I’m never gonna have a cold night again,” she let out, sounding very content. “And you are in the safest place in the world. Here you're not allowed to worry about everything. You are in a locked-down keep, sleeping with a dragon and if that doesn't do it, Then I will, so relax… please dude.”
“That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Tom replied, not that she could hear it of course. “Well, except for saving my life a few times… you people do that a lot don’t you?.. What did I do to deserve you?” He tried to snuggle up a bit closer to her, even if that was hard to achieve in her current grip. Jarix’s slow steady breathing almost rocking them to sleep.
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“Now I just want to ask you some questions, nothing more, so don’t panic,” Maiko went as they turned the guy around. The guy looked scared shitless to Sapphire. He was a rather short spindly fellow as well, so looked really unintimidating right about now.
“And just in case you think running is smart. I’m possibly the fastest flyer you have met and I won’t be gentle with my prey,” Sapphire added, trying to look menacing and baring her teeth, while Maiko was clearly going for the more friendly approach. The guy just swallowed once, looking at the two of them.
“I was just told to find out what you’re doing, I swear nothing more.”
“So what did you learn?” Maiko asked, still sounding very friendly.
“You go to the inventor's place regularly, you are making something weird, you have been to the Hashaw’s place, and you are staying at the Sweet Dragon.”
“And who are you supposed to give all this lovely information?” Maiko continued.
“I was just paid by some woman, I didn’t know her, I swear. She just asked if I wanted to make a bit of easy money.”
Sapphire opened her mouth a bit, letting out a deep growl. The guy was fidgeting nervously at that as Dakota, Balethon, and Junior trooped up behind him.
“I’m guessing rather fine clothes and perhaps some rather nice jewelry?” Dakota asked, causing the guy to go stiff.
“I mean yeah… she did look rather rich.”
“How were you supposed to let her know?”
“I should meet her at the big plaza in front of the trading guild tomorrow after breakfast.”
“Right, well first off that’s not going to happen,” Dakota went from behind him. “Secondly, if we catch you following us again I’ll let Sapphire here demonstrate why she isn't even allowed to compete in archery competitions. Am I clear?” Her voice was cold and calculating, the guy nodding rapidly. “Out of curiosity, what did she pay you.”
“15 silver.” ‘Well, for tailing someone that was a rather good pay.’ The guy didn't exactly look well off either, so Sapphire could see him taking that offer without a second thought.
“Actually, I think I might have a better idea,” Sapphire Interruptet. “What would we like them to know?” Dakota looked to Sapphire, her face turning into an evil grin.
“What do you say, Maiko?”
“I mean, if this guy doesn’t want to go to jail for disturbing the peace and spying on military matters he might be useful.” Sapphire was pretty sure you could not go to jail for that. Nor was this military matter, in any capacity. “So what do you say, willing to lend the Royal Guard and a few people in high standing with the king a hand, or do I need to get some manacles?” Maiko questioned, looking down at the guy.
“Treworian at your service, sir,” The man responded, eyes wide as the situation he found himself in seemingly hit him like a battering ram.
“Come with us then. We have some things to discuss,” Dakota went, nodding to the others.
They took the guy back to the workshop where Tink was currently busy repairing the damage to the magnet.
“Back so soon?”
“Yeah, we found a nosey little bastard.”
“And you brought him here?” Tink questioned, clearly not happy with that.
“Yes, we did. Now Treworian, may I call you Trewor?” Dakota questioned, turning to the man.
“Yes ma’am, of course,” he responded, eagerly. ‘God damn he’s scared,’ Sapphire mused to herself. They weren’t gonna hurt the dude unless they had to, but it was probably best he didn’t know that.
“As you can see, we are making very dangerous new weapons here, under the authority of the king no less.” Tink looked ready to protest when Junior kicked him in the shin, shutting him up. “Have you heard of the attacks on the outlying keeps?”
Trewor nodded, looking around the room worriedly at all the strange bits and bobs.
“We are looking to put an end to that once and for all. Now the reason I’m showing you all this is because if you tell anyone that is treason, and you know what that means.” ‘Oh you evil genius,’ Sapphire thought to herself, doing a gesture of Trewor falling a very long way down, convincing sounds included. The guy went even paler than before.
“So what I want you to do, is tell the sweet lady who hired you that we are making some kind of invention as a present for the King himself and that it looks very expensive and very complicated. So you can’t possibly figure out what it is. But you did manage to sneak in while we were out and read a very official-looking document, stating who had hired us, and that the present is expected to be done in time for… Anyone know when there is some sort of big event coming up with the royal family?” Dakota questioned looking around.
“One of the princes is graduating from the academy this summer I think,” Maiko responded.
“That will do. A present for the prince in time for his graduation. Can you do that?”
“Sure can, don’t you worry. I ain’t no traitor”
“Very good. Now, remember, if you tell her the truth it’s a long way down okay?”
“A very long way indeed,” Sapphire added, with as much venom in her voice as she could manage. Trewor just nodded furiously.
“Good lad, now run along now, you have work to do,” Dakota continued, letting go of him. Trewor stormed out the door, Junior going over to close it after him.
They all stood there for a second before everyone except Tink broke out laughing.
“You’re all crazy” The inventor finally went in a disapproving tone, Which only caused Sapphire to laugh even harder.
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When Tom woke up again, he was greeted by a dragon's head lying on the ground in front of him, staring at him with a sly smile.
“Someone got comfortable?” Jarix questioned, sounding very pleased with himself.
“You're just jealous; no one is big enough to wrap you up like this,” Tom replied from his prison of safety. “What time is it?”
“Hmmph, no clue, it’s getting late though. They brought you something because you decided to spray blood everywhere. Oh and your clothes. The girl tried to apologize for not being able to get them properly clean. That took a bit of explaining.”
Tom chuckled at that. “I’m sure it did... Wait did they use you as a washing line?”
“It looked wet, so why not?” Jarix responded. Tom cracked a proper smile at that.
“The world's most expensive washing assistant.”
“Yeah… Not exactly the world’s best night fighter, that’s for sure,” Jarix let out with a sigh. “I have never had my ass whopped that hard before.”
“Hey! You don’t get to feel sorry about that. You killed all three of those big bastards. And no one seems to know what they were... I never thought I would need to tell you this but be a little proud of that.” Jarix did perk up a bit at that, not much though.
“I only got two, and the last one would have gotten me I think... But I did tell you, you would be great at getting things off my back, hey. Even if that was not quite how I intended it”
“Can’t argue with that. By the way, have your decades of training to become a perfect killing machine told you what they might be?”
“No, I got nothing. Definitely a foul thing. It must have been able to see me approach to land that hit.”
“Yeah, if it sees like a bat then that thing sees using sound.”
“Wait, what?” Jarix questioned. “Can't they just see well in the dark?”
“Nope, they use their ears. That was no ordinary bat though, that is for damn sure.”
“No it was not… I’ve been thinking. My father said the darklings had a ride they kept falling back to when they attacked him… Do you think we just found what it was?”
Tom had to think about that for a bit. “Fuck, it might be… Is that bad?”
“Yes. Very! That means they have a new way of traveling long distances. That’s never good.” Tom felt Jackalope begin to stir as Jarix talking jostled the two of them around a bit.
“No Tom, you’re not leaving yet, this is nice,” she let out still half asleep, squeezing Tom tighter.
“I think for the Time being we need not worry, we just killed three of them there can’t be more around or they would be everywhere”
Jarix looked rather curiously at their arrangement. “Shouldn’t we worry? This could be very bad, we can't just sit here”
“Not much to do except let the people who can do something about it know. We were supposed to scout not fight. So let’s just worry about that and the kids for now. Besides, you aren't going anywhere in a hurry, right?” Jarix looked rather ashamed as he craned his head to look at this own back, expression turning pained.
“No, I am not.”
“Well then, neither am I and neither is Jacky. Unkai is needed here. And we aren’t sending Zarko alone. Even if Jacky or Unkai could find their way back to the keep… Actually, Jacky is deaf so that would be kinda hard… And Unkai might not even know… Well, that settles it then, we aren’t going anywhere 'till you can fly again.”
“Maybe we could get some of these nice people to fly the message. We were sent by the king remember”
“I mean maybe… perhaps at some point. Are my clothes dry yet?”
“They don’t feel cold anymore, so I guess so.”
Tom squirmed a bit to try and get free but Jackalope simply squeezed tighter. Jarix suppressed a snicker. “Uhh, I guess that’s nice to know. Jacky, I know you’re awake… goddammit.” Tom tried, Jarix starting to giggle properly.
“She’s got you now.”
“Well if you didn't want me to leave I don’t think I could either,” Tom retorted looking up at the dragon. “All joking aside, you did fucking amazing out there. I’m just sorry I couldn’t nail that bastard on your back sooner.”
“That hurt like hell. Also, don’t tell her, but I think Jackalope shot me.”
“Jarix, how bad is lead for a dragon?” Tom questioned.
“Don’t tell me they need to dig it out?”
“I mean they don't need to, but it’s in there now. And it’s made from copper and lead.”
Jarix looked over all the wounds strewn over him. The dragonettes had done a good job of patching most of them up, though several of the bandages were leaking fresh blood.
“I think it’ll stay in. Their healer would be done for 10 times over, trying to fix that mess I guess. So much for looking like a million gold.” Jarix seemed genuinely distraught at that.
“Hey think of it this way. You’re the first dragon ever to be shot with a gun. Have you ever heard the expression ‘Knight in shining armor’ by the way?”
“Yeah, like some young prince who everyone wants.”
“Well, would you look at that, a metaphor that transcends worlds? It actually means a man who has yet to be tested. That is why his armor is shiny. He hasn’t seen battle yet.”
“Couldn’t he just get it fixed and polished?”
“Maybe, but his armor would still carry scars of battle and most will leave them undisturbed as marks of experience. Just like you will now. Congratulations. You’ve been tested and you sure as fuck weren’t found wanting, you magnificent bastard.”
“Does that mean I passed a lesson?” Jarix questioned, seemingly very excited all of a sudden.
“With flying colors. Pun intended, not that I doubted you could fight” Tom joked cracking a smile “There are more to go through. And remember chicks dig scars.”
“Why do I want to impress a young chicken?”
“I guess that one doesn’t translate. Girls, Jarix. Girls love scars… Well some of them at least.”
“Ahhh that makes more sense, my back is gonna look wicked in that case… eventually.”
“Just think of Baron. He looked badass, didn’t he?”
“Sure, but most of those are from epic battles in the history books. He’s so freaking cool. I was told stories about him and the other veterans growing up.”
“You don’t think this one is going in there?”
“It’s just some battle for a keep. That happens all the time.”
‘Well, that is a rather depressing thought…' Tom hadn’t gotten that impression from the others though. “I don’t think you’re right, didn’t you say you had no clue what those bat things were? The first one is always remembered. You might be the first to ever kill one and the first to win a battle against them. First are always remembered.”
Jarix seemed to ponder that for a second before he lit up. “You mean I’m gonna be going in the history books for this?” he replied with genuine excitement in his voice.
“Well it’s possible, don’t you think? Besides if that doesn’t cut it, being the first dragon to carry a gun should damn well do the trick. You didn't even think of that?”
“I just wanted to win... “
“Bravo. That’s how it’s done,” Tom was actually genuinely surprised by that and really rather happy. It was clear this mattered to Jarix. Tom guessed he had been used to big battles with colorful depictions of heroes and their deeds. “You need to win no matter what, because history is written by the victor. I’m willing to bet that most of those stories you have heard aren’t really true. War is always a shit show, but if you win you can claim it wasn’t.”
“That is rather depressing,” Jarix responded.
“You remember what I said a while ago? Glory is your reward for doing terrible deeds, not to mention going through hell, hopefully for a good cause. We did that yesterday. That was all for a good cause, and that can’t be taken from you. So again, congratulations, big blue hero.”
“Well at what point are the two little ‘heroes’ gonna move? I haven't moved a muscle for an hour fearing I might squash you.”
“You are gonna have to take that one up with Jackalope,” Tom replied. He didn’t really want to get up, he was perfectly comfortable here, even if he was wondering how Jackalope wasn’t uncomfortable he was literally sitting in her lap and had been for hours by now. He should probably eat whatever was in that bowl too. It didn’t look particularly appetizing though.
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“Why haven't we heard anything yet?” Balethon questioned, between bites of dinner.
“Don’t know, might have stayed a little at Deriva? I would. It’s not often we get to see them, and the Lady there is very kind,” Sapphire replied in a hopeful tone. She was not sure she believed that though.
“They have Jarix with them. He could outrun almost anything,” Maiko replied. “If it was bad news, we would have heard from them by now. Likely this morning actually.”
“Unless they were dumb enough to try and help,” Dakota added in, sounding worried.
“I mean, Zarko follows orders, Unkai would likely be too scared, they won’t listen to Jacky. So that puts it down to Tom and Jarix,” Sapphire replied, thinking that over for a second. “Would Tom risk it?”
“I have no idea. Nunuk said he sounded troubled at the notion of even leaving the keep. But dammit if he is one to look the other way,” Dakota answered again before looking to Maiko. “What about Jarix?”
“Oh, he would for sure, but isn’t that what Tom had been trying to teach him not to do? Besides, I think he would listen to Zarko on that front. That and he has orders to follow, from the king no less.” Maiko certainly didn’t seem worried.
“Tom won’t give a shit about those orders though,” Sapphire stated plainly, scoring a double take from Maiko. “But he might decide to play hero, and with Jacky along… And Jarix possibly looking for an excuse...” ‘Fuck they might actually do it,’ Sapphire concluded to herself as she looked around at the others. “What would we do if they tried to help?”
“Not much we can do. We’re stuck here for the time being,” Dakota replied, looking like she had already arrived at Sapphire’s conclusion.
“Well if they don’t return… We would be launching an investigative force,” Maiko replied, clearly not pleased with that notion. “If they engaged, though, there is a good chance they are licking their wounds. I wouldn’t be concerned yet. As I said, Jarix is damn near the fastest flyer around these days. If you don’t need to go too far.”
“So they saw a keep in trouble, lent a hand, then ran away to lick their wounds. Or, they went in, won the battle, and are celebrating merrily with the people they saved. Sounds good to me. As long as too many didn't get hurt,” Balethon added, mouth half full of food. “How long until you send someone to mop up what’s left?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A few days... Maybe a week,” Maiko replied dismissively.
“I say we worry about it then, hey? Besides, as you said, we can’t do anything about it,” Balethon continued, while still eating. “I think we need to be more concerned with the people who might just be trying to kill us.”
Sapphire didn't really like this. In most of the situations they talked about, people would likely get hurt and it might well be someone she cared about. Tom was a good friend, sure. But she had known Jackalope for many years; she might be her closest friend in fact, despite their rivalry. “They better be fine. I've been doing too much praying as of late, and it doesn't seem to be working. I think it’s about time it does”
“Isn’t that something to do with only praying when you need something?” Balethon questioned.
“Well what should I pray for then? That someone got hurt or worse?” Sapphire replied in a rather annoyed tone.
“I think you need to give thanks for what you got. Not done much praying though,” he responded.
“Okay so. Dear Lotek, thank you for our safe journey here. Would you please ask Ishan not to take my friend from me?”
“Don’t say things like that, Everyone is fine. I’m sure.” Dakota demanded, sounding like she needed to convince herself just as much as the others. “Besides, even if they did decide to help a keep, they have both Tom and a damn dragon of the Royal Guard. What exactly survives that?” She didn’t sound entirely convinced of that statement either though. Even if it was one hell of an argument.
“Sorry. I’m just worried, okay?” Sapphire apologized.
“Let’s just give a prayer for everyone to get home safe tonight, and then worry about the things we can do something about.” Maiko interjected, clearly trying to ease things a bit.
When they had made it to bed, Dakota had a chat with Nunuk about what had happened. Even if there wasn’t much to report beyond Trewor. Crucially though, no news from the keep. Everything was as it should be apart from no Jarix and crew.
“Do you think this Trewor guy gonna stab us in the back?” Sapphire questioned after giving Dakota a second to catch her breath after the experience.
“I think he is too scared to try and double-cross us. He wants to live. That was damn clever of Maiko, I damn near believed it myself.”
“Yeah, the guy has a knack for this kind of thing it seems. I’m starting to see why Hashaw sent him. Besides just not wanting him around. And it was brilliant about the weapons. Even if Trewor does betray us, the bitch is gonna be scared shitless anyway.”
“She sure is,” Dakota replied with an evil grin.
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So then. The girls in the big city are hitting back, Jacky is doing her best to help her stressed to shit boyfriend and Jarix might have gotten a childhood wish fulfilled. Did you enjoy the chapter if so do let me know down below. Alternatively, let me know just how badly I fucked up.
Until next time Have an awesome day.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
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It was the summer after seventh grade and we were trying to tame the neighbor’s dog, Ripper. There was a rumor that Ripper’s owner, Mr. Brown, had once killed a woman and buried her in his garden. According to legend, the police had turned up to investigate, but Ripper had torn them apart and they were never seen again. Of course, we had actually seen Ripper being vicious. In fact, I doubted whether that was even his name.
“We need to do something cool this summer,” Tony was saying, as he threw a chunk of sausage through the gate and Ripper gobbled it up. “The four of us. Before…”
He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Tiffany, Valerie and I would be moving up to eighth grade and he was being held back. While we reassured him we would still be friends, he was worried. Not that he would ever admit it.
“I’m moving,” said Tiffany, her eyes firmly on the ground.
“Where to?” asked Valerie. “Is it the Cooper's old place? That’s haunted you know. That’s why it’s been empty for so long.”
“No.” Tiffany blinked hard and I immediately understood. She wasn’t moving to the next street. She was moving. It wasn’t common for people to move away. People usually lived their whole lives in our town and their kids did so too.
As much as we willed it otherwise, it happened. Two weeks later, the moving vans came and Tiffany’s life was loaded up into boxes, leaving me devastated.
Ever since her dad died, Tiffany had lived with her mom and her uncle. She insisted they weren’t together but all the evidence pointed to the fact that only one month after her husband’s death, Tiffany’s mom had moved in with her brother-in-law and they were now in a relationship. Tiffany’s uncle had little time for Tiffany and the feeling was mutual, so she avoided being at home as much as possible.
I was the only one who Tiffany talked to about her homelife. Valerie would have tried to understand but, coming from a perfect family, would have been unable to. As for Tony, he was the person who would have probably understood Tiffany’s pain the most - he came to school covered in bruises most days. But he was more of a “let’s-burn stuff and see what happens” kinda guy than a “talk-about- your-feelings” kinda guy.
“Here is my new address,” Tiffany said, handing what looked like small business cards to each of us. “So we can keep in touch”.
“I’m not much of a writer,” muttered Tony.
“Flip it over,” she said. There was a message scrawled on the back.
“Send me a picture?’ Send you a picture of what?” his eyes widened.
“Anything!” She said. He raised his eyebrows in a way that made me want to punch the smile right off his face, but the girls didn’t notice. “Take a picture and send it to me and I’ll write back. Then, you don’t need to think of what to say.”
“Mine says ‘send a poem!’ I can’t wait. I’m going to start writing it today!” squealed Valerie. Tiffany was brave. Valerie’s poems were insufferable - we had to endure them every English class as Mr. Carr read them out and asked why we can’t all be more like Valerie.
I flipped my card over.
‘Send me a secret’.
A secret? I had no secret to tell her. At least, not one I wanted to share.
She hugged us all goodbye then. When she got to me, she clung on tight and held on for a lot longer than she had the others. Her hair smelled of strawberries. I had the overwhelming urge to kiss her, but Tony interrupted our embrace by smacking me around the head. I looked up to see Tiffany’s uncle glaring at me and I pulled away quickly.
​
*
​
I was sat with Tony in my garden. My parents were out and he had managed to steal us beers from his house. Valerie’s parents had signed her up for extra classes, despite the fact she was the top of every class, which meant it was going to just be Tony and me for the rest of the summer.
“What are you going to send her a picture of?” I said.
He smirked in response and I punched him in the arm.
“Haven’t decided yet. What secret you gonna send?” he said. I shrugged. It has been two weeks since she had left and I still had no ideas. “Just tell her you’re in love with her and get it over with.”
“I’m not-“ I argued.
“Whatever. Well you better think of something soon or she might forget you.”
The mailman had arrived to collect the outgoing mail and deliver the incoming. I mentally chastised myself for not having anything ready to send. I slowly pushed my beer out of sight but he barely even looked at us.
“You know she will probably find loads of dudes in her new school to-“
But I didn’t get to hear what she would do with the dudes in her new school because Tony’s father was shouting him from their house across the street and he didn’t sound happy. He probably noticed the missing beer. We threw our cans over the fence and he ran off.
With the buzz of half of a can of beer behind me, I wrote:
​
“Dear Tiff,
You wanted a secret and I didn’t know what to write because I already told you most of my secrets. Except one. I think you’re really cute. Will you tell me one now?
Love
From Dave”
​
“Dear Dave,
I’m glad you told me your secret. I promise I won’t tell anyone. I’m really good with secrets. People tell me their secrets and I never tell anyone. Like I never told you who Valerie had a crush on and I still won’t tell you except that his name begins with T. I think you’re cute too. I wish you told me before I left. How is your summer going? I hate it here. I wish I was back there with you and Valerie and Tony.
Love Tiffany”
​
I read it again to myself, taking in every word. My mind raced with fantasies and I regretted that I hadn’t kissed her when I had the chance.
​
“Dear Tiff,
It’s Tony that Valerie has a crush on, right? You made it so obvious. I wish you were back here too. Do you think you will ever come back to visit? Or maybe I could visit you one day?
We are starting school again next week. I don’t think it’ll be the same now you aren’t there and Tony won’t be in our classes. How are you feeling about starting your new school? How are things with your mom and uncle?
Love Dave”
​
As we should have expected but didn’t, Tiffany leaving meant we lost Valerie as a friend as well. There were no hard feelings, but she made other friends when we returned to school and we grew apart. At that age, life changes so quickly and it wasn’t long before we barely knew each other anymore.
Tony and I were sat in my garden again one Saturday and Mr. Brown was walking Ripper down the street. Ripper, who ever since the summer associated us with sausages, was trying to pull Mr. Brown across the street towards us.
“You really think Tiffany’s that hot?” Tony asked me.
“Yeah…”
“Loads of girls at school are hotter. Like Tina Marsh.”
“Tina Marsh is hotter.” I agreed. “But she’s dumb.”
“Who cares about dumb when you just want to-“
Right on cue the mail came. Tony tried to read it over my shoulder but I fought him off and he turned back to his beer, sulking.
​
“Dear Dave,
I can’t believe you figured out! Please don’t tell Tony that Valerie has a crush on him. Also don’t tell her that you know. Promise?
I have to tell you something. I kissed a boy last week. It was really gross and he smelled of cigarettes and his tongue was slimy. I don’t think I like kissing very much. Maybe I was doing it wrong. I haven’t kissed anyone before. I’m sure you have kissed loads of girls.
My uncle is awful. He’s drinking every day now and he isn’t even looking for a job. My mom goes to work every day and he sits around doing nothing. I hate being home with him when my mom isn’t there. I really hate him.
School is OK but nobody really talks to me. I just spent most of my time in the library. I wish I could come back. How are you doing? Are the three of you having fun? Did you find another friend to replace me?
Love Tiffany”
​
“Dear Tiff,
I haven’t kissed loads of girls. I haven’t kissed any. If I’d have told you before you left maybe we would have been each other’s first kiss. I don’t think it would have been slimy and I don’t smell of cigarettes. So is he your boyfriend now?
You don’t need to worry about me saying anything to Valerie because she isn’t really our friend anymore. She has other friends now. It’s just me and Tony. I don’t think he likes being in 7th grade again but he’s ok. We still hang out at lunch and after school. It isn’t the same without you and I wish you could come back.
Is your uncle saying horrible things to you again? You’re not fat at all so please don’t listen to him.
I’m OK. Elsie has learnt to walk now and my mom and dad are going on like it’s the best thing ever just because she’s done something that everybody in the world can do. I got an A in my Math test and they didn’t even say well done.
Love Dave”
​
When another letter for me came, I stopped and stared at the strange, messy handwriting on the envelope that I didn’t recognise and ripped it open.
​
“Dear Dave,
I broke my arm so I have to write with my right hand. I hope you can read it ok. I heard you think Tina Marsh is hotter than me? Maybe you could kiss her instead?
Tiff”
​
I flipped the paper over. Nothing. White hot rage rose inside me and I ran to Tony’s house and pounded on the door furiously.
Tony stepped out, pulling the door behind him. “Whoever that is tell them to shut the fuck up,” came his dad's voice from inside.
“Hey Dave! I can’t come out tonight but l’m-”
I punched him square in the face.
He only looked confused for a second and then he lunged at me and tackled me to the floor, until we were rolling around the grass in his garden and Ripper next door was barking as if cheering us on.
Mr. Brown came out into his garden and shouted over the fence, “Now really, boys? What is going on here?”
“Fuck you, murderer!” Tony shouted at him. Mr. Brown grimaced and he turned back inside, whistling for Ripper to follow him in. The interruption stopped us in our tracks and we leapt to face each other.
“Why did you tell Tiffany that I think Tina Marsh is hotter than her?”
“Dude what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this.” And I threw the letter at him.
“I don’t know anything about this.” He said.
“I bet you’ve been having a real laugh haven’t you, telling her everything I’ve said to you about her.”
“I’ve not been talking to Tiffany at all. She hasn’t replied to me.”
“You’re surprised she didn’t like the picture of your tiny-“
“I obviously didn’t send her a picture of my dick.” he lowered his voice because the neighbors were starting to look. “I sent her a picture. A proper picture of the four of us. I got it developed specially and she hasn’t replied. That what you wanted to hear?”
“I don’t understand-“
“There’s nothing to understand. Tiffany is a bitch. She’s off making out with guys from her new school and probably laughing at you because you're still so into her.”
“You're just jealous that someone is actually into me and nobody is into you because you’re too stupid to even graduate seventh grade”.
He didn’t hit me again. I knew I'd hurt him. I’d intended to. To be really honest, our friendship was hanging on by a thread anyway. Our foursome was down to two, and in the summer it had become quickly apparent that without the girls, we simply didn’t have much to talk to each other about.
​
“Dear Tiff,
Did Tony tell you I said that? I’m really pissed at him because I didn’t even say it like it sounds. I didn’t mean it like that. I was saying she was dumb and you aren’t and that’s why I like you. And you’re really pretty as well. I really like your hair. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I didn’t mean to and it was all a misunderstanding. Please believe me. Maybe you can send me your phone number and we can talk on the phone?
Love Dave
P.S. What did you do to your arm? I hope it doesn’t hurt too much”
​
Several weeks went by without a reply, and I decided to approach Valerie in school.
“Oh, hey Dave. How you doing?” she said. Valerie had, as Tony had once put it, “found her hotness”. She’d even got herself a boyfriend. He was in ninth grade and he seemed reluctant to let go of her waist to let her talk to me.
“Hey Valerie. Heard from Tiffany lately?”
“No. I never actually sent her a poem.” she blushed.
“Oh,”
“But she didn’t write me either.” she added defensively when she saw my face. “Do you still write to her?”
“Yeah but she’s not answered me for a while.”
“Well she probably has new friends now.” she said matter-of-factly and then the conversation was ended by her boyfriend pulling her into a rather disgusting looking kiss, as if marking his territory.
I did make a couple of other friends at school, but it wasn’t the same as it was with the four of us. My fantasies about Tiffany were becoming obsessive. All I did was count down the days to the next letter. Without that, I was lost.
​
“Dear Tiff,
Please reply to me. I really miss you and I’m sorry if I said the wrong thing in my letter. I really don’t care about Tina Marsh at all. If you don’t want to be my friend, you could at least tell me. You kissed someone but you’re pissed that I said someone was hot when I wasn’t even really saying that. I know you probably have other friends at your new school now but I wish you’d talk to me.
Love Dave”
​
Finally, a letter arrived. I’d been accosting the mailman every morning for several weeks and he always shook his head at me sympathetically. This time, he smiled as he handed me an envelope.
“You’re David, I guess?” he said. I nodded and he handed an envelope to me before putting the rest of the mail in the box. The address had been typed out onto paper, and cut and stuck onto the envelope. I ripped it open. The letter was typed too.
​
“Dear David,
I’m sorry I’ve not responded for a while. I was kinda busy and didn’t know what to say. I’m a bit embarrassed about my last letter. I just felt really jealous, thinking of you kissing her. I know it’s stupid because I kissed that boy, but I only kissed him because I was scared that if one day we saw each other, I wouldn’t know how to kiss and you would have loads of experience and I would be bad at it.
I still have no friends at school. My mom keeps lecturing me to try to fit in but nobody here understands me and I have nobody to talk to. I really hate it here. I keep asking to move back but mom says no. I wish I could talk to you on the phone but I can’t because it’s in the living room and we won’t have any privacy. My uncle will be listening in. He always wants to know everything I’m doing.
I got a new typewriter for my birthday. It’s pretty cool. How are you?
Love Tiff”
​
My heart ached for her. I desperately wanted to save her, to get her back, to make everything go back to how it was before but I didn’t know how. My parents soon started to notice I was becoming withdrawn, which in itself was a shock, given that they hadn’t noticed me since Elsie was born.
When they confronted me about it one breakfast time, I decided to be honest. After all, they had known Tiffany for all those years and would probably want to know how she was doing.
As well as being relieved to find out where the stamps had been going, they were also concerned about Tiffany.
“Far too fast to move on, that was.” said my mom.
“And with his brother? I tell you, Jean. If I died and you shacked up with my brother!”
“And for poor Tiffany to have to deal with that!”
“I never liked the look of him. Didn’t like the way he looked at the girl either, I tell you.”
“You know, they only moved because he wanted to. Hated it here, he said. Said he wanted the three of them to have a fresh start somewhere else without all the memories.”
“So they all have to up and move because he says so. And now to hear he’s not even working!”
“It’s expensive up there too. How they even afford that house, I don’t know. That poor woman must be worked off her feet. I don’t-“
“Sorry, David, what were you saying again?”
“I was just thinking, maybe one day I could visit her. I know it’s a long way, but-“ I said.
“Well, absolutely. You should have said something before. We’d love to take you to visit your friend. Especially if it puts a smile on your face. Miserable as heck, you’ve been, these last months. Your father thought you were being bullied!”
Since we were intending to go camping in the next holiday anyway, it all worked out perfectly. I couldn’t believe my luck. I ran upstairs immediately to write to Tiffany.
​
“Dear Tiff,
I have amazing news. We’re going to come and visit you in a few weeks. We’re going to come down for that week in the school holidays.
I can’t wait to see you.
Love Dave”
​
The reply I got was the quickest I’ve ever received.
​
“Dear Dave,
That’s really nice but I don’t think there will be room in my house for everyone to stay, The house we have is really small and so it would be too cramped. I’m really sorry. I was so excited to see you too.”
Love Tiff”
​
“Dear Tiff,
Sorry, I was so excited I probably sent it too quickly and didn’t explain. We’re going to camp nearby so we don’t need to stay at your house. My mom and dad say they can bring me to yours to visit you or if you prefer they can pick you up and we can all go out for the day or we can just hang out somewhere. You could even stay in the tents with us if you wanted. There’s enough room.
Love Dave”
​
“Dear Dave,
I don’t think it’s a good idea. You know my uncle is really weird and he probably won’t want me staying in a tent with you now we’re older. I’m really sorry.
Tiff”
​
“Dear Tiff,
You don’t need to stay in the tent if you don’t want to. That was just an idea. My mom says she could call your mom to talk about it if you want? I thought you’d be really excited. Is this about the kissing? You don’t have to be nervous. We don’t need to kiss if you don’t want to. I just want to come to see you because I miss you, not to kiss you.
Love Dave”
​
“Dear Dave,”
No, don’t call my mom. I didn’t want to say this like this but I have a boyfriend. He won’t be happy if I spend time with you alone. I don’t think you should come. I’m sorry.
Tiff"
​
I felt like I’d been slapped in the face. We kept writing to each other after that, but I didn’t mention visiting again. Despite having a boyfriend, she continued to speak to me in the way she always did. She would talk about one day being able to move back and how we could be together. At first, I liked it and it gave me hope. However, in time, it started to bother me. I imagined if I was her boyfriend and she was writing letters to someone else, like she was doing to me. I started writing less frequently, and in turn, she wrote more and more until I was exhausted with it.
Eventually, a few months into 9th grade I got a girlfriend of my own. Sarah was new to the school and she was absolutely beautiful. I told Tiffany about her in my letters but she didn’t seem happy about it. It annoyed me slightly, considering she had a boyfriend of her own, but I didn’t give it much thought because I had Sarah and that was all that mattered.
I was completely and utterly in love. We got detention for kissing on the corridors between lessons. Everywhere we went, we went hand-in-hand. We couldn’t be away from each other. I felt cool. I had a girlfriend. A real girlfriend. After a month, I told her I loved her and she said it back. We dreamt about being old enough to get married. I even saved up my allowance to buy her a ring. It was a delicate, silver ring with a small heart on the front. I promised her that when we got older I would get her a “real” ring, but she said she loved it and would never take it off.
Of course, it probably wouldn’t have lasted. We were 14. But I never got the chance to find that out for myself. A few months into our relationship, Sarah went missing. To everyone’s dismay, the police seemed to assume that she had run away. I knew she hadn’t. They looked for her. They did all their investigations. But it never came to anything and in an area with very few resources, the help soon tapered away.
​
Dear Tiff,
I know we don’t talk as much as we used to but I could really use a friend right now. Sarah has gone missing. The police keep saying she ran away but I know she wouldn’t do that. I don’t know what to do. I miss her so much. I’m really scared that something happened to her.
Love Dave
​
Dear Dave,
If the police think she ran away, she probably did. I think you should move on. Does this mean you’re single again now? I know we haven’t seen each other in a long time, but I still think about you all the time. I keep wishing that you could be mine and nobody else’s. I know it’s not the same because we can’t be near each other, but I love you and sending letters is enough until we can be together. Do you want to be my boyfriend?
Love Tiff”
​
Maybe it was a difference in maturity. Maybe I had changed. I wasn't even angry about her lack of sympathy. I was so tired of feeling. I believed it would never get better. I couldn’t grieve because I couldn’t believe that Sarah wasn’t out there.
​
*
​
It was a boring Tuesday after school when I saw her. Her face had changed slightly and she was paler and skinnier.. I watched her in shock for several minutes before she turned around and saw me.
“Dave?” she said.
“TIff! What are you doing here?”
“We moved back just last week.” She wrung her hands in front of her awkwardly like she didn’t know what to say. Like I was a stranger. She didn’t look as pleased to see me as I would have hoped.
I stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. She still smelled like strawberries. It took me a second to realize she was not hugging me back. She froze, her hands stiff beside her. I pulled away.
“Sorry,” I said. ”I just- Why didn’t you tell me you were moving back?”
She looked confused about my question. “Why would I?”
“Tiff, I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your last letter. It’s not that I didn’t want to. It’s just my head’s been a mess with all this stuff with Sarah.”
“Who is Sarah?” she said.
“My girlfriend… the one who went missing...”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
We looked at each other, confused. Actually, I looked confused and she was looking at me like I had something wrong with me.
“I told you about her. In my letters.”
“Your letters?” she said. Then she laughed. “Dave, I haven’t got a letter from you in over a year.”
“I wrote to you,”
“A couple of times. But then I moved again and told you my new address. You never got in touch again.”
“Tiff, I’ve been writing to you. And you have been writing back. This whole time. You said just a few weeks ago that you wanted to be my girlfriend.” Her eyes widened. She clearly thought I was delusional.
“Dave, I haven’t written to you. When you didn’t write again, I thought… I thought you didn’t want to. Because of what happened with my uncle.”
“Your uncle?”
“Yeah, I moved because of him. Remember? My mom and I moved. To get away from him. Because of what he did…”
“Tiffany, what did he do?”
She looked to the floor. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Wait, so you moved again?”
“Yes. I told you.” She was losing patience. She was talking to me like I was stupid.
“And now you’ve moved again? Back here?”
“Evidently,” she snapped.
“Tiff,” I said gently, and I stepped towards her but she flinched.
“It was good seeing you Dave.”
My mind raced and I didn’t understand what was going on. If I hadn’t been writing to Tiffany, who had I been writing to?
“When you moved, did your uncle stay there? At the house?”
She shrugged. “Dunno. Guess so.” And she hurried off, visibly wanting to escape.
My heart sank. Had he carried on writing to me, this whole time,, pretending to be her? Why would he though? It made no sense. It was a strange prank to play.
I couldn’t resist. I had to write again.
​
“I know this isn’t Tiffany. I know this is her uncle. I don’t know what is wrong with you or what you did to Tiffany. I don’t know why you’ve been writing pretending to be her but you’re a sick fucking freak.”
​
I didn’t get a letter back, but I did get a parcel. It was tiny. Inside, was a small ring with a heart on it. Sarah’s ring. A small slip of paper making a chain through the ring said, “GUESS AGAIN.”
​
“Sarah? What is going on? What happened to you? Why are you at Tiff’s old house? Are you OK? I’ve been so worried about you.
Love Dave”
​
The parcel came quickly again. This time, it wasn’t a ring. It was Sarah’s ring finger. Wrapped around her finger was a piece of paper that said, “GUESS AGAIN.”
My head spun and I dropped it instinctively on the floor. My heart pounded in my chest and I stood there for several minutes, not knowing if I wanted to cry or vomit, I was so terrified that I was frozen in place until my dad saw me, and saw what I was looking at on the floor.
The police took the finger, the ring and all of the letters I had as evidence. They instantly commented on something I hadn’t noticed. After the first couple of letters, starting from when Tiffany had ‘broken her arm’, there was no postmark on the letter. Whoever had sent them had delivered them to our mailbox by hand.
The next day, Sarah’s body was discovered dumped carelessly by the river. On her body was one last note. It said:
​
“I love him.
I couldn’t let her have him.”
​
Rumors flew wildly around the town. Naturally, the angry mob decided that Mr. Brown, with his apparent history of murder must be the culprit. He was attacked outside his home and eventually the police took him away for his own protection while they investigated. I started to believe it too. He lived right across the street so it would be easy for him to steal the outgoing mail at night and put it in the mailbox in the morning.
I had a flash of memory. Tony and I were sat in our garden, discussing how hot Tina Marsh was, and he was there, walking Ripper. He would have heard everything I said.
I wanted to kill him, more than I had ever wanted anything before. He’d taken everything from me. He’d taken my best friend and he’d taken my girlfriend, and for what? Why had he done it? The violent thoughts didn’t stop coming, and his face haunted my dreams.
But in those dreams, something nagged at me and it took me a while to realize what that was. It was only through my dreams that I realized the truth.
“You’re David, I guess?” the mailman had said to me. He handed the letter to me, directly into my hand, before putting the rest in the mailbox. The letter in the envelope with no postmark on it.
He was the one who was always there, but nobody ever noticed. He was the one who collected and delivered mail for our whole street. My house. Tony’s house. I couldn’t even recall his face. I don’t think I’d ever even looked at it before. I only noticed his uniform.
He pleaded guilty. He had no choice, really. All of my letters were in his house. Tony’s picture was there too. That’s why Tiffany hadn’t replied to him. She’d never received it. It was taken in the summer before she moved. It was of the four of us sat by the river. We’d placed the camera on a rock and ran to beat the timer, only for Valerie to slip. Tony had caught her just in time, and the four of us were giggling. We looked so happy in that picture, like we couldn’t imagine that anything would ever change. Tony had written on the back of it, “We miss you, Tiffany. Thank you for being our friend."

Let me start by saying I love ANTI. It’s a brilliant album that had Rihanna at her most confident, artistic, and vulnerable. It absolutely deserves the praise it gets for elevating Rihanna’s overall discography and showing how she could make a deep and well-crafted album. However, I feel like ANTI is the only Rihanna album that ever gets discussed in full, while her earlier albums are barely mentioned outside of the singles. Since the beginning of her career she has been considered a ‘singles artists’ with subpar albums. While I do acknowledge there was probably more effort in pushing her singles as opposed to her albums earlier in her career, I don’t think that instantly makes her albums bad. In my opinion, her album cuts are just as good, and often better, than her singles. With that said, I’m going to give a brief overview of each of her albums and explain why I think they deserve more praise than they get.
Music of the Sun
Her debut album, 2005’s Music of the Sun is as fun and summery as you can get. The album blends Caribbean-inspired reggae and dancehall with U.S.-based pop and R&B for an extremely easy and upbeat listen. It’s a perfect album to throw on when you’re poolside or if you’re in the mood for some chill escapism (I know I’ve listened to it for the last year pretending I’m on an island vacation instead of in my house for day #3685). Among the best songs are the infectious ‘Rush,’ featuring Kardinal Offishall, the laidback ‘Here I Go Again,’ featuring J-Status, and the criminally underrated ballad ‘Now I Know,’ which sees Rihanna at her most vocally impressive. It’s also damn near impossible to resist the urge to dance to songs like ‘Let Me’ and ‘Should I?’ This album seems to get flak for not showcasing enough of Rihanna’s personality and leaning too far into the ‘girl-next-door’ image, and I do think that’s a valid criticism. However, as a fun dance album with enough slow moments thrown in for good measure, I think this album is absolutely worth listening to, especially if you want some good summertime bops. I also think it’s unfair to hold this album to standards that Rihanna set later on in her career. In 2005, Rihanna was marketed as a pop/R&B artist heavily influenced by Caribbean music, and this album reflects that sound. While it’s different from what she would end up doing, it still deserves more attention for its incredibly fun songs outside of just ‘Pon de Replay’ and ‘If It’s Lovin’ that You Want’ (which is also underrated in its own right).
A Girl Like Me
Released less than a year after Music of the Sun, 2006’s A Girl Like Me is a natural progression of its predecessor. The record sheds some of Rihanna’s initial dancehall/reggae influence in favor of more balladry. The result is a more relatable album that sees Rihanna experiencing heartbreak and love affairs while trying to remain true to herself. Whether she is missing a past lover on ‘P.S. (I’m Still Not Over You)’ or feeling emotionally distant in her current relationship in ‘A Million Miles Away,’ Rihanna takes the listener through relatable experiences (well, I’m assuming relatable for people who have actually been in a relationship). What I love about this album is how it gives slight hints of Rihanna’s future cool and confident persona while also showcasing her vulnerability. Rihanna remains in control throughout the record, whether she is refusing to compromise on her morals in the title track (“'Cause a girl like me/ Is just a little different from all the rest/ And a girl like me/ Never gonna settle for second best”) or telling her lover the reasons why he should stay on ‘Who Ya Gonna Run To’ (“When your friends start to trip and you're losing your grip/ And you can't find your way back home/ When your world falls apart and you're lost in the dark/ And you know that you're all alone/ When you just can't deal and you need something real/ Someone who'll always come through/ Who ya gonna run to?”). In addition to this, there’s also plenty of up-tempo moments thrown in (‘Kisses Don’t Lie,’ ‘Crazy Little Thing Called Love,’ ‘Coulda Been the One’), so it’s certainly not just ballads throughout the entire runtime. This album somehow gets even less attention than her debut, which is a shame since I find it just as good for different reasons. While Music of the Sun was a more lighthearted and danceable listen, A Girl Like Me sees Rihanna on a more personal and relatable level. While it may have one too many ballads for some listeners, her sophomore effort is certainly worth revisiting for some great songs to cry over.
Good Girl Gone Bad (+Reloaded)
Now THIS is where Rihanna’s discography really starts to take off. While her previous records were great in their own right, GGGB sees her in full Queen of Pop™ mode. The album combines the mid-2000s pop/R&B sounds along with 1980’s dance-pop to make a truly no-skip non-stop fun experience. The hooks are instantly memorable and the production is slick, but the standout part of the album is Rihanna’s newfound edgier image. No longer the island dancehall girl-next-door of her first two efforts, GGGB introduces the Rihanna we are more familiar with today; fully confident, effortlessly sexy, and completely cool. From the transformative liberation anthem of ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’ to her telling her man off in ‘Breakin’ Dishes,’ Rihanna finds herself comfortably slipping into a bolder persona without coming across as forced. She is having the time of her life on this album, making it hard to not have fun while listening. This album immediately comes to mind when I think of mid-late 2000s pop-perfection, and it remains my favorite album of hers. Not only does it have some of the most iconic hits of the 2000s (‘Disturbia,’ ‘Umbrella,’ ‘Shut Up and Drive’), but it keeps the quality of those songs consistent throughout. ‘Question Existing’ is especially a standout as it sees Rihanna at her most introspective, questioning how much she has been forced to endure in the music industry and how she has to constantly keep herself guarded. However, my personal favorite song from this album, and her whole discography, is the ridiculously entertaining ‘Lemme Get That,’ which sees her coyly playing a gold-digger. Listen to it one time, and I promise you will not get the chorus out of your head for days (“GOT A HOUSE BUT I NEED NEW FUR-NI-TUUUUUREE” stays in my mind rent-free). If you’re a pop-lover, this is an absolutely essential listen.
Rated R
Coming out during a dark period in her life, 2009’s Rated R is Rihanna’s most thematically mature album. Released nine months after a highly publicized assault from then-boyfriend Chris Brown, the pop queen decided to double down on the bold and in-control image she began during her last album cycle. The record incorporates more rock instrumentation to give it an edgier and more dangerous sound in contrast to the more lighthearted pop/R&B of her previous albums. Songs such as ‘G4L,’ ‘Rockstar 101,’ and ‘Hard’ serve as anthems for being in total control over your life and owning who you are. She serves a badass rockstar fantasy reminiscent of 80s rockers in terms of her larger-than-life persona. On the flipside, she also explores the trauma she suffered on songs such as ‘Cold Case Love’ and ‘Russian Roulette,’ which are genuinely heartbreaking songs given the context around this album. However, in my opinion no songs compare to the devastating ‘Fire Bomb,’ which strikes a perfect balance of grim storytelling while also being an entertaining song. She sings about a tragic relationship that is destined to fail, mirroring her own relationship at the time (“The lovers need to clear the road/ ‘Cause this thing is ready to blow/ I just wanna set you on fire so I won’t have to burn alone/ Then you, then you’ll know where I’m coming from/ Fire bomb”). It’s a perfect song to either cry to or scream along with while driving, and it remains my second favorite Rihanna song of all time. This album is truly unique as it doesn’t really sound like the typical pop music of the time. While this era of pop music was defined by dance and club bangers, this album further developed Rihanna’s ‘hard’ persona while also telling a tragic story. It’s heavy and dramatic while being empowering. It’s fun to get lost in the rockstar fantasy this album delivers, but the true strength of Rated R comes in the gut-wrenching storytelling and dark themes. While I can see why people prefer ANTI to her first three albums, I truly think Rated R is a strong contender for her best record.
Loud
Tonally and aesthetically opposite to its predecessor, 2010’s Loud is Rihanna’s most concise and consistently energetic record. With just eleven tracks, there is no filler to be found here. Instead, we’re treated to the most brash, in-your-face, and unapologetic (pun intended) dance-pop Rihanna has to offer, with some of the dancehall influence returning from her first two albums. Whether it’s an ode to the weekend on ‘Cheers (Drink to That)’ or arguably her sexiest song to date, ‘Skin,’ Loud includes hit after hit after hit. Any one of these songs could be huge on the radio even today. While the album does trade in Rated R’s intense themes and dramatic storytelling in favor of a ‘safer’ and more ‘commercial’ sound, I don’t think that works against it since Rihanna still brings all her charm and personality to each song. Similar to GGGB, she sounds like she’s having the time of her life on these songs. My favorite example of this is on ‘Raining Men,’ featuring Nicki Minaj (before having a Nicki feature was truly mainstream!), which has remained a summer playlist staple for me. It’s one of her catchiest and over-the-top songs, and Nicki’s verse is endlessly quotable (“And he sweating me just 'cause I got the tightest hole/ Bet I couldn't find that thing with a microscope,” “Really? / REALLY?!/ no for real, REALLY?!”). The album also slows down for songs such as ‘California King Bed’ and ‘Love the Way You Lie (Part II),’ which still manage to not sound jarring despite being ballads on a primarily dance-pop album. ‘California King Bed’ is especially one of her catchiest ballads and another great song to scream along with in the car with your windows down (if you’re not easily embarrassed). While I could see some people preferring the more personal Rated R, I enjoy Loud more for its insane energy. I also think it has her best selection of singles. Seriously, how can you compete with ‘Only Girl (In the World),’ ‘What’s My Name,’ and ‘S&M’?!
Talk That Talk
At this point in her career, Rihanna had been established as her generation’s Queen of Pop with about six years of non-stop hits under her belt. Despite this, she was still seen by many as a singles artist who simply bends her sound to fit in with popular radio. However, when it came time for her sixth studio album, 2011’s Talk That Talk, she once again proved that she doesn’t follow trends; she sets them. The lead single ‘We Found Love’ is undoubtedly one of the most influential songs of the 2010s, acting as one of the earliest mainstream breakthroughs of EDM (along with the fourth single ‘Where Have You Been’). Regardless of your thoughts on EDM and its influence on pop music, no one can deny that ‘We Found Love’ was a massive pop culture moment that many artists would spend the first half of the decade trying to imitate. The album itself follows in Loud’s dance-pop footsteps, though this time there are more electronic and hip hop elements. The album is also far more overt in its sexual themes when compared to her previous work, with the one-two punch of ‘Cockiness (Love It)’ and ‘Birthday Cake’ (not the Chris Brown version, but that should go without saying) acting as extremely memorable hoe anthems. In terms of slower moments, the album includes one of my personal favorite ballads of hers, ‘Farewell,’ which is more of a power-ballad with its explosive chorus. Talk That Talk also lives up to its title as it once again sees Rihanna as a fierce badass in songs like ‘Roc Me Out,’ ‘Red Lipstick,’ and the title track. She is totally confident and in control throughout as she owns her position of pop royalty, similar to the braggadocious personas seen in Britney’s Blackout or the Pussycat Dolls’ Doll Domination. While I don’t find this album as strong as her previous three, I still think it’s a great record with enough memorable hooks and stupidly catchy melodies (looking at you, ‘Watch n Learn’!) to warrant a listen.
Unapologetic
Her seventh album in seven damn-near consecutive years, Unapologetic wraps up the relentless earlier years of Rihanna’s superstardom on a fittingly no-fucks-given way. The album is sonically similar to Talk That Talk with heavy dance, electronic, and hip hop elements, with more dubstep thrown in (it was 2012, after all). The album has killer club cuts such as ‘Right Now’ and ‘Jump’ alongside arguably her most successful ballads ‘Diamonds’ and ‘Stay,’ with Mikky Ekko. The album certainly does feel like a time capsule of this era of music, but once again Rihanna manages to shine through some admittedly outdated production. ‘Phresh Out the Runway’ sees her coming into her own as the fashion icon she would later become (and is a damn fun song to play while trying on outfits and pretending they look good) while ‘Numb’ and ‘No Love Allowed’ pay tribute to her island roots. Some of the album even sounds like a proto-ANTI with songs like ‘Get It Over With’ and ‘Loveeeeeee Song,’ with Future, foreshadowing that album’s chill and atmospheric production. The highlight of the album, in my opinion, is the masterpiece that is ‘Love Without Tragedy / Mother Mary,’ a dual song that doesn’t feel nearly close to its runtime of seven minutes. The song’s first half sees her playing up her tumultuous relationship (“What’s love without tragedy?”) while the second sees her praying to Mother Mary and Jesus, pondering how she ever became so big and how badly she wants to change (“Mother Mary, I swear I wanna change/ Mister Jesus, I’d love to be a queen/ But I’m from the left side of an island/ Never thought this many people would even know my name”). On a similar note, ‘Half of Me’ acts as a plea to listeners who only saw Rihanna as a party girl to understand she’s more than what the media makes her out to be (“You saw me on a television/ Setting fire to all the buildings/ Yeah I guess you saw me stealing/ But you have no idea what I’ve been needing”). Introspective songs like this are why I really think Rihanna’s discography is deeper than a lot of people give her credit for. The album has a perfect balance of tender moments like this while also having the hook-heavy fun that Rihanna is known for.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, ANTI deserves all the praise it gets, but I think it’s a shame that it’s the only Rihanna album most people take seriously. There are so many great songs in her whole discography that prove she was much more than a ‘singles artist.’ Putting all her songs on shuffle is a guaranteed great time that I’d recommend to any pop lovers. If you haven’t given her pre-ANTI work a listen, I highly recommend doing so. For everyone that has listened to her older albums, what are some of your favorite songs? In addition, what are your favorite Rihanna albums?

I've been noticing some GME bears coming out of the woods so here's a DD up your butthole, don't worry, I'll use lube and I'll ease into it slowly.
"GME GONNA BE BANKRUPT HUUR DURR" - GME bears
If GME was going bankrupt, it would've done so already during the lockdown, not in the beginning of a console cycle. Here's a brief look at the credit markets backdrop and I'll explain why GME won't go bankrupt anytime soon and is in fact very bullish for GME.
I'm not gonna go into how GME improved their balance sheets and got FCF, lots of people did that already, but I'll say something in WSB terms. Printers go BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR yo. When the IG and HYG credit market went to shit back in March and April, JPOW pulled out his magnificent printers and set it to BRR mode, the end result is well functioning credit markets with spreads that are tight af. With yields in treasuries and IG being low, people are forced to look for yield in junk bonds. This is why you hear about how CCL was able to raise debt without using ships as collateral and airlines using their flyer points as collateral to raise debt. Creditors are willing to lend at laughable rates just to get yield. Now GME doesn't need to raise more debt, it is meeting it obligations early but if it ever needs to raise capital for future growth operations, they can easily raise capital in the credit market for as long as JPOW sets the printer in BRR mode. Which we know won't change until at least 2023, I honestly think it'll be longer than that but it doesn't matter anyways since wsb doesn't even look 6 months out ahead. Notice how we haven't had as much bankruptcies as people thought we would ?(small businesses don't count) Well that's because of our great lord and savior, JPOW
So there you have it, betting on GME bankruptcy is essentially betting against JPOW losing control of the credit market. JPOW is in effect GME gang's daddy #1. (iloveyoujpow)
"BUT GME HAD NEGATIVE EPS FOR SO MANY YEARS!" - more gay GME bears
You see the problem with bears is that they are always backwards looking, no vision for the future, no hopes for anything, always depressing. For some reason they can't understand that a lot of the market participants are writing off 2020 because of the pandemic, they also can't understand GME is cyclical and moves along with the console cycle, meaning we are now in the early days of a gme pump. Their inability to look forward is in fact the number 1 reason why their wives have chad forward looking boyfriends. Our forward looking chad is of course Ryan Cohen (Daddy #2), I don't even need to explain more, but GME GANG daddy #2 obviously has a vision and he is more than ready to double down on his bet, buying GME at $16 just two weeks ago. He had a few mysterious tweets recently and people are speculating that he is ready to make another move. I'm not going to join the speculation but the fact that he bought at $16 means that is probably the floor price and I would go all in with calls if it ever dips below that.
"THEY HAVE NO VIABLE BUSINESS MODEL IN THE AGE OF ECOMMERCE" - Gay bear and Melvin capital
We have to give credit where it's due, Melvin capital likely had significant alpha with their investment thesis. If you look at their holdings, you'll see that they are long ecommerce and short specialty retail. They saw the demise of various brick and mortar stores back around 2015 and executed on that thesis. I'd argue that the covid pandemic essentially pulled forward all the earnings growth and priced in a lot of that growth with high PE multiples. The problem with that thesis is that it is now old, ecommerce is a crowded trade and this will not be an alpha generating thesis. The best way to generate alpha is now to invest in a new counter thesis that can outperform the crowded ecommerce thesis.
Omnichannel is one of such counter thesis, it's starting to get hyped everywhere. This is why Sherman repeats that word like he's autistic, this guy probably mutters it while banging his wife but judging by his conference call, she's probably never been excited by him. Likely he doesn't know how to execute on that thesis, thank god for GME GANG DADDY RC.
That's not to say he is useless, despite all the shit we gave him. Sherman managed to close down unprofitable stores, reduced inventory and got cashflow positive during a pandemic. This is textbook shit but still very important. and despite the letters RC put out, he could be very receptive of his ideas for all we know. He has shown to be somewhat shareholder friendly through previous buybacks and he did not rule out further share buybacks. Sherman himself holds over 1million shares and has not yet sold them as far as I know. The shelf offering concerns seems to have faded for now, and it will become smaller as the stock price increases. I really just think GME management wants to use that to capitalize on any potential pumps in the stock. This will probably be re-invested anyways.
So what did GME do so far to improve its business model? So far I've seen the following

1. Pivot to ecommerce and improving ecommerce sales - which has seen decent growth
2. Diversifying sales to include more high margin items like PC accessories, PC monitors, etc ( If I speculate, there may be partnerships with certain brands
3. Focusing on loyalty programs like power ups - I'll never understand loyalty programs but some people are retardedly loyal to stores that offer rewards. If they can offer good incentives they can achieve high conversion rates , as far as I know, GameStop is the only specialty video game retailer in north America that offers such reward programs.
4. Store rebranding - this might be good for their goodwill, which got hammered over the years

Daddy RC has more plans for GME and we can only speculate what they might be right now, but with 12% stake, he has what he needs to go full on activist on the BoD. I expect to see some departures and replacements in the reasonably near future.
If that's not enough for you, here's a few more possible catalysts for the stock that I don't see a lot of people mentioning

1. A possible new Nintendo console release in ~1-2 years
2. Currently distressed commercial REITs = ability to negotiate lower rent = more $$$
3. Likely return of inflation (debatable but money supply ballooned and we are seeing velocity pick up a bit) with JPOW promising to keep rates at 0% even when inflation comes back = bullish for all stocks, bears will get slaughtered
4. OG printer Yellen manning the treasury in a month + possible dem senate = more stimmy checks = more money going into GME
5. If sales improve and balance sheets continue improve, we might see more credit upgrades
6. Better sales = possible dividend re-instatement , I couldn't care less about dividends but guess who's going to be paying? The shorts lol. If Sherman had balls, he would pull an OSTK and announce a special dividend , which will actually lead to a short squeeze while wsb laughs collectively as we get meme returns from this boomer move.

I'm sure the OG GME bulls can think of more reasons, I've been in and out of GME since it was at $9 (my CC's kept on getting assigned).
Current positions
500x GME shares - ready to buy more at the dip Monday and Tuesday, going to sell a few puts
15x Apr $20c
10x Jan 15 $20c YOLOs
So does this mean I think GME will squeeze to $69 by next friday? No. GME short interest has been high for years, Melvin capital isn't going to be that worried since their GME position is likely hedged and not a big part of their holdings (they're probably laughing at wsb for all the memes we put out). We will likely have a few more dips next week which I will buy. Depending on how much WSB pumps GME before ICR or console sale release (which I expect to be lackluster due to shortages), I'll either take profit or sell some ITM calls if IV's are high. Then buy the dip.
TLDR:GME bankruptcy is out of the question for the next 3-5 years because of the macro and credit market, RC is putting a floor of $16 on the price (debatable but you're welcome to buy puts or short below $16). bears need to stop looking backwards and be anticipatory. GME short squeeze likely not going to happen overnight but a bit slowly as more people realize GME isn't going bankrupt and either buy in or cover their short positions.